By rich strack

katehep11@gmail.com

You have a major decision to make. You’re thinking of asking her to marry you. You’re going to ask him for a divorce. You’re contemplating taking the new job offer or quitting the one you have. You’re this way and that way about moving to North Carolina.

If you’re like me you take everyone’s advice with a thank you and then you toss it away. You have to live with your decision; they don’t.

So you deal with sleepless nights and anxiety-ridden days. Your mind says do this; your heart says do that. What wins?

Here’s an example of how it might play out with moving to North Carolina as the subject.

MIND: What are you, crazy? You can’t just pick up and go.

HEART: But I really like it there.

MIND: Really? You spent a total of five days in Charlotte.

HEART: I’m done with these long winters. Except for about three months, the weather here is perpetual November. I want four seasons and less snow.

MIND: So you’re going to quit your job and have no money and go there with no place to live because you like their Weather Channel forecasts better than the ones we have here?

HEART: I need a change of scenery. I’d find work to do and somewhere to live.

MIND: You’d leave your friends and family? You don’t know a single person down there. What are you going to do, walk into a bar one night and ask the guy holding the beer bottle on the stool to your left to be your friend?

HEART: Why not? New people bring new energy. Moving there would be an opportunity to start over, to blaze a new trail.

MIND: What if it doesn’t work out? Are just going to get in your car and drive right back? Then there you go again with no job, no money and no place to live.

Let me pause the argument here and ask you if you are a nonintuitive thinker, someone who makes decisions with rational logic or are you an intuitive feeler, one who chooses opportunities just because they feel right even if logic says you shouldn’t do it.

Do you ever get in the car and go for a drive with no particular destination in mind, or do you have to have a plan of where you’re going? If you are thinking of getting married, would you consider all the positives and negatives about proposing to that someone or would you throw caution to the wind and just go for it?

Did you buy your last car after analyzing its engine’s horsepower and its miles per gallon of gas, or did you fall in love with the style and the color and not really care about what was under the hood?

Now you might fall somewhere between a nonintuitive thinker and an intuitive feeler, too, but what makes this interesting to me is why we are what we are. Did we learn decision making by watching how our parents made choices, or do we rely on our built-in genetic instincts?

Of course, we all must know a few heartless and a few mindless people, so they would never dispute themselves about anything. Here are a couple of extreme examples. An accountant referred to his own children as financial liabilities, complaining about how much it costs to raise kids today.

Bruno Mars, the singer, belts out the words, “I’d catch a grenade for you,” in one of his songs. I know it’s an exaggeration, but I can’t help myself from thinking if anyone would really stand there and blow themselves up, or for that matter, who would catch the grenade and then throw it right back!

I’m a guy driven more by my heart than my brain. Sure, this gets me into illogical decision-making at times and I pay the consequences, but, right or wrong, that’s who I am. I understand why a friend of mine would spend most of his paycheck on buying professional football memorabilia or a guy at a bar buying a round of drinks that leaves him with an empty wallet.

So going back to the decision to move to North Carolina or to Florida or across the street, do you make the final decision from your mind or from your heart. Don’t say both. Lean one way or the other.

I’ll let you fill in the blanks.

MIND: You can’t just go. It’s too risky.

HEART: But I like the unknown excitement! C’mon. let’s do this!

MIND: (use logic)

HEART: (use feelings)

FINAL DECISION:

Once again, I’d like to invite one or more of my readers to be a guest columnist for a week. Any idea works as long as you provide a personal perspective on the subject or issue. I can proofread and edit the language if needed and allow you to see the final draft before it’s sent to my editor. Email me with your ideas at katehep11@gmail.com Thanks!

Rich Strack can be reached at katehep11@gmail.com.