In the 1990s psychologist Daniel Coleman redefined intelligence, adding “emotional I.Q.”

Scott Galloway’s “Notes On Being a Man” includes emotional intelligence as part of redefining masculine strength. He focused on the current state of boys, after he received numerous emails from the mothers of boys, revealing their deep concern on what they were seeing.

“The data is overwhelming, showing young men’s growing social isolation, boredom, and ignorance.”

That real strength is rooted in being kind, responsible, having emotional awareness, self-regulation, and not being aggressive.

It was heart sickening in 2023 to hear about high school boys in Westfield, New Jersey, using A-I to edit and place fake porn photos on the Internet of fellow female students followed by mocking and ridiculing them.

Since the overturning of Roe and after many right wing political events, there has been increasing nationwide reports of high school and college women being harassed with sexist slurs and taunts. Words such as “your body my choice” which has dual meaning as a rape threat, or get back in the kitchen.

There is a normalization of harassment taking place. Men, even adolescent boys feel vindicated in their desire to denigrate and impose restrictions on women’s autonomy. Girls and women are fearing for their safety and it has caused a major shift in dating, lost friends, and avoidance of Alt-right men who have different views.

“Violent behavior against females, (psychological/emotional, physical, sexual) is tied to the existing definition of manhood.” Media, movies, sports fraternities, military and pornography perpetuates it. It is a manifestation of unrestrained power and privilege associated with male dominance. (Jackson Katz, PhD, Harvard School of Education)

See TED talk.

Activism and education on domestic violence started, and has been persisting since “kitchen table meetings” in the 70s at the home of Pennsylvania resident Susan Kelly-Dreiss.

Men’s grudge and bad attitude towards women didn’t come from bad experiences with women. It came from years of male messages dehumanizing women.

The problem needs to be beaten back to men, to change their attitude.

Debra Becker (RN, retired)

Chestnuthill Township