Feeling lonely is a normal behavior of the human condition, but when it becomes a frequent occurrence, loneliness can lead to many consequences.

In a recent study, 46 percent of Americans feel lonely much of the time. That means 153 million people in the United States are chronically lonely. These numbers indicate a significant crisis in our population. American philosopher, Sofo Archon reports that technological advancements over the past 30 years have contributed to the problem of human disconnect despite our frequent use of cell phones and online social media sites, leaving many people feeling insecure about themselves and anxiety-ridden on a daily basis. Archon says that loneliness can make us feel unimportant and undeserving of love. Loneliness is not always a result of being alone. A person can be in the middle of a crowd, at a social event, or at a family function and still feel lonely.

The Foundation for the Art of Healing reports that chronic loneliness can also be detrimental to our health. It can be twice as dangerous as obesity and more lethal than smoking 15 cigarettes a day. To the extreme, isolation can cause serious illnesses and even result in a shorter life span caused by high levels of stress that significantly weakens the immune system.

Human disconnection has been linked to cancer, heart disease, advanced aging, Alzheimer’s disease, and other serious illnesses. Loneliness is a serious public issue, but it rarely is talked about as a problem in our country. One reason for disconnection from each other is a current persuasion in books and the media that we need to nurture individuality, one which requires nobody else to help us be happy.

Other numbers prove this troubling paradigm to be a fact. Marriage rates have declined since 2011 suggesting that Americans don’t want long term relationships. According to a recent government census, nearly 38 million Americans are living alone, either by choice or by circumstance. This phenomenon is favorable to some, but to others, it’s a setting that breeds alienation.

Being lonely is not just occurring in older adults. The Foundation says adolescents and young adults are particularly at risk as marked by growing incidences of depression, substance abuse and suicide.

There is obviously a difference in wanting to be alone and being lonely. Many Americans thrive on living by themselves. They may have come out of an ugly divorce or a broken relationship. They like the fact that they don’t have to answer to anyone. As one young single woman who lived only with a dog in her house put it, “When I come home at two o’clock in the AM, my dog waits at the door with his tail wagging and he never asks, ‘And where have you been ’til this hour in the morning.’”

American philosopher Henry David Thoreau chose to live in the woods by himself for two years. He was alone, but never lonely. He had kept good company with himself, something many people today have difficulty doing.

The long-term effects of living alone can be another concern. A future population of aging people living alone into their 80s and 90s may result in significant numbers with clinical depression, especially during long winter months when those in their twilight years are restricted to the indoors.

With so many opportunities for social connections and available methods of communications, why is there such human disconnection? A 2021 Harvard study finds that COVID-19 “exacerbated the problem,” especially with younger people and single mothers with small children. The study suggests that a current trend of “hyper- individualism” should be reversed to “restore our commitment to each other and to the common good.” They further call for a campaign by schools and local and the national government to address loneliness as a significant public concern.

Lonely people do not walk around carrying a sign that says, “Help me. I’m lonely.” They often hide behind their smiles and even laughter. The stigma about loneliness is it shows weakness. “Get over it,” some will say. “It’s not a big deal.”

But it can be a big deal. Famous entertainers constantly in the public eye have admitted to feeling detached from positive and healthy relationships. Lady GaGa recently spoke about what she describes as a mental illness. After anxiety about her Super Bowl performance a few years ago and a breakup with her fiancée, she said, “I’m alone every night. All these people leave. I go from all the noise, all the music to total silence.”

Psychologists categorize four types of this condition. Emotional loneliness is the absence of intimate relationships. Social is the feeling of disconnection when inside social gatherings. Situational is when circumstances arise that give one a feeling of isolation when no one is there to depend on. Chronic loneliness brings alienation without meaningful purpose. Life has lost its value.

What can be done to help the lonely find their way to feeling connected with others? You can’t “unlonely” someone. There is no prescription medicine to de-isolate anyone. Perhaps the most effective remedy is simple kindness. A smile unites strangers. Say hello and it might be an invitation to a conversation. Hug a friend, a member of your family. Human touch works wonders.

We are very fragile as we walk this world together. Handle us with care. Touch our hearts. Engage our minds. Bring a sense of peace to each other and we can calm the storms, lifting us out of the darkness to see the sun rise another day.

Rich Strack can be reached at richiesadie11@gmail.com