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Opinion: There were ‘Swifties’ long before Taylor

As Berks County native Taylor Swift transitions her Eras tour from the United States to Mexico and other international locales, “Swifties,” abroad are rejoicing just as they did here in the United States.

To me and others of my generation, there were “Swifties” long before the 33-year-old phenom took the music industry by storm. These “Swifties” had nothing to do with music; in fact, they were not even people.

The name comes from the main character in a series of adventure books that appeared starting in 1910 - Tom Swift. Although the books were credited to “Victor Appleton,” this was a fictional name; the books were written by several authors. Just like the Hardy Boys, who came along a little later, the Tom Swift adventures were wildly popular among boys, and they featured a preference for adverbs to substitute for the repetition of the word “said,” believing it added color and variety to the author’s narration.

I might add that this is something that we journalists are taught NOT to do - add adverbs after the word “said,” - because as my gruff, cigar-chomping city editor insisted when I first started in newspaper work in 1966 “readers never find the word ‘said’ monotonous.”

The term “Swifties” came about much later than the Tom Swift novels and was coined by Willard Espy, who devoted a section of one of his two research volumes on word play to them.

Anyone who knows me is aware of my affinity for puns. Let’s be honest: I am really annoying in dropping them at appropriate (or inappropriate) moments. As I learned many years ago, punning is not everyone’s cup of tea. You might call it an acquired taste, just as with fine Scotch. When I stumble upon another punster, it is sheer heaven as we hurl comeback after comeback puns at each other until one of us waves a white flag in utter exhaustion.

The “Swifties” depend upon a person’s ability to get a pun’s intent. Not everyone can, or, honestly, not everyone cares to even try. A punster’s greatest compliment is a groan - the louder, the better - or similar acknowledgment, such the rolling of one’s eyes, but I cannot tell you how many of my superb puns have landed with a thud, were greeted with an icy silence, provoked a bewildered “I don’t get it” or prompted a blank stare followed by “What do you mean?”

Years ago, when “Swifties” became a fad, we would try to come up with our original examples and top each other. I was moderately successful, but a couple of my friends were outstanding.

By this time, you may be wondering, “OK, what are examples of these ‘Swifties’ so I have an idea of what you’re writing about.” Here are 10 of my favorites:

• “I can’t find the oranges,” lamented Tom fruitlessly.

• “Don’t you love sleeping outdoors,” Tom cooed intently.

• “I just dropped the toothpaste,” observed a crestfallen Tom.

• “Welcome to the Jim Thorpe mausoleum,” guide Tom announced cryptically.

• “The salad dressing has too much vinegar,” Tom concluded acidly.

• “Get to the back of the ship,” Tom ordered sternly.

• “I love hot dogs,” Tom salivated with relish.

• “Baa, humbug!” whispered Tom sheepishly.

• “I forgot what I needed at the store,” Tom explained listlessly.

• “We just struck oil!” Tom gushed excitedly.

Although the “Swifties” seem to have fallen out of favor in recent years, who knows, maybe with millions of real “Swifties,” they might make a comeback, because they’re fun and will keep your mind sharp, Tom said pointedly.

By BRUCE FRASSINELLI|tneditor@tnonline.com

Editor’s note: Bruce Frassinelli passed away on Labor Day. This is the last column he wrote for the Times News. The Times News sends our condolences to the Frassinelli family.

The foregoing opinions do not necessarily reflect the views of the Editorial Board or Times News LLC.