My Aunt Mary had a big personality, a big laugh and most of all, a big heart.

She might have been a bit pushy but I was grateful for that because it changed my life.

When l was 10 my parents got a divorce and my beloved father moved far away, building a new life in another city.

What a contrast that was from the father who delighted in taking me everywhere with him.

He took me along when he met his buddies at the fire company.

He took me along when he walked in the woods, when he went to the movies, when he went fishing and when he went with his buddies to a football game.

I remember his buddy Jack complaining about it, asking my dad why he took me everywhere with him.

“Because it’s more fun with her along,” he said.

At night, my dad and I read together, with sports magazines for him and comic books for me.

My mom told everyone my dad was a rotten husband but he was an extraordinarily good dad.

He truly enjoyed being with me.

So why did he go away and never see me again after the divorce?

I never asked that question of my mother because it was clear she had enough problems trying to support us with absolutely no money from my dad.

No one ever asked me how I coping without my dad until my Aunt Mary asked me if I missed him.

I told her the truth. My dad’s absence left a big gaping hole in my heart and I cried a lot when I was alone at night.

My Aunt Mary managed to contact my dad to tell him how much his daughter needed him.

I don’t know how she did it because in those days there was no internet and no cellphones. My dad moved to another state without leaving a trace.

We had no idea where he was.

Because of my Aunt Mary’s pursuit, my dad came back to see me.

He bought me a small sturdy suitcase, telling me it was for the trips we would have together.

He told me he stayed away because he was feeling like a failure after the divorce and thought I would be better off without him.

What child is better off without the father she loves?

Fortunately, that was the last dumb thing he said.

He went back to being a devoted father, taking me to spend summers with him and staying in touch.

That little blue suitcase he brought me got a lot of use over the years as my dad and I made precious memories together.

Whenever I had something special going on like a role in a play he made sure he was there for me.

While I always thought my father was my hero, when I grew older and wiser I realized the unrecognized hero was my mother. She was crushed by the divorce but she never stopped me from spending time with my dad.

She kept saying he divorced her, not me.

There are complexities in every family. Our family was strange in that after both parents remarried I had two fathers and two mothers. While that’s common today it certainly wasn’t back when I was growing up.

I remember being reduced to tears at a 14th birthday party when the birthday girl said I had no parents. “I’m supposed to be nice to you,” she said, “because you don’t have anyone to love you.”

I’ll never forget my father’s reaction. He told me I was luckier than most kids because I had four parents to love me, not two.

His words made me see myself not as a pathetic child of divorce but as a kid with four people to love me.

Both stepparents did prove to be a wonderful addition to my life and I knew how blessed I was to have them.

Both my mom and dad each went on to have a daughter. MaryAnn and Cindy have added so much to my life.

I tell people struggling with blended families to give them a chance. Every new person in your life can be a new blessing if you maintain the right attitude.

I never let anyone say Cindy and MaryAnn were my stepsisters. They were and are true sisters of my heart.

Once when I was at a news conference I met a mother who had brought along her 12-year-old son. She told me she was divorced from the boy’s father but said he didn’t need a father when he had her.

Later the boy talked with me about the pain of not being allowed to see his dad. I tried without success to change his mother’s mind.

I am forever grateful I had a loving father in my life. Those memories of bobbing along in a boat with dad while we talked and talked will always remain precious to me.

Thanks to my Aunt Mary, I have those wonderful memories instead of a hole in my heart that never healed.

To all the fathers out there, remember your role in your children’s lives is the most important role to which you were entrusted.

And to all those lucky enough to still have their father, enjoy your time together.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net