A good weapon that we all have is one given to us as a birthright. If we decide not to use it when it might be necessary, we can be left in a bad state of mind for a very long time, perhaps right up until we take our final breath.

The extraordinary power of this weapon, which we keep deep inside us, is that it destroys two things at once with a bullet that travels in opposite directions.

For the shooter, it kills a heavy burden of guilt and for the victim, it vanquishes an intolerable pain. It’s best the weapon not be used, however, until time is taken for serious contemplation, soul searching, and even counseling.

Once fired, a moral conscience for the person at fault is restored and for the victim, a feeling of empathy is returned.

This weapon fires a bullet filled with forgiveness that allows both the perpetrator and the victim the will to face a new day. This is no easy task. Forgiveness is the most difficult exchange of emotions. When asking for forgiveness, the guilty person becomes vulnerable to the real possibility that the victim might not have the incredible courage that’s required to give it.

A young girl is killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. He has remorse. He loads his weapon with a carefully planned apology and asks her parents to forgive him. They might not want to destroy his terrible burden of his guilt. He should suffer, they might say, and yet if they have the courage to forgive him, they know he will still carry blame.

This girl’s parents, believing that their daughter would have wanted them waking up every new day without the hatred they have for this man, can take their first step to moving on with their lives. Of course, they will never get over the death of their daughter, but they can learn to live through it. Asking for forgiveness can give a man back his dignity lost by a stupid mistake and the words, “I forgive you” can reopen two hearts that have been closed ever since the tragic loss of their loved one.

Here’s a confession found on the Quora website from a young woman named Scarlett Longstreet about the relationship she had with her father.

“My dad was an addict. He died from an overdose in 2018. I once got mad at him when his food stamps card was denied and I had to cover his groceries. It wasn’t about the money.

“I gave him a hard time when he broke my glass measuring cup. It wasn’t about the cup.

“He commented on a new haircut and I was enraged because he’d already seen it and I assumed he was too drunk to remember. It wasn’t about my hair.

“I drove him from doctor to doctor, from rehab to rehab, but I was frequently short tempered. Visibly put out by what he required of me. It wasn’t about the time.

“He was homeless for many years. He used to stand on corners with a sign and ask for whatever money or food people were willing to give.

“I loved him, but I was frequently embarrassed by him. I was mad about my childhood and what bled into my adulthood. And I found any way to take it out on him. He’s gone now and I’m not mad at him anymore. I’m mad at how much I let my inability to forgive him affect our relationship. Now he is free and I’m chained, weighed down by all the grace I couldn’t bear to give a person who so wholly was in need of it.”

Scarlett finished her story with these words. “Give forgiveness. Because my regret over withholding it is stronger than all the anger I felt throughout the years.”

She could not pull the trigger to kill the anger she had held for her father. She’ll never know if he would have accepted her forgiveness.

She might have freed herself of the torture she carried for so long and her feelings toward him might have changed from anger to compassion and her compassion might have strengthened his will to get better for himself and to stay alive for her.

Here’s another true story. A man raped and murdered a young woman and goes to prison. A counselor prepares her mother to forgive him because she cannot move on with her life, which she believes her daughter would have wanted. She visits the murderer in prison. He shows no remorse.

He expects she’ll shoot him down with hatred spewing from her mouth. Instead, she pulls out her weapon of choice, a small piece of paper. With her hands trembling, she is about to read a few sentences that will ironically make the murderer the victim. She forgives him for what he did to her daughter and thereby destroys the hatred she has for him. She tells him that she wants to hear the songbirds sing again, a joy she often had shared with her daughter.

The murderer never looks at her. He’s preoccupied with constantly wiping his hand across the river of tears running down his face.

I know what the power of forgiveness has done for me. Like Scarlet Longstreet, I hated my father for never being my dad. Twenty years after he died, I went to his grave and my weapon of choice was a letter of forgiveness I wrote to him that I placed upon his grave. I forgave him and I forgave myself and this has made a profound difference in the person I am today.

The old saying, “Forgive and forget” would never have worked for me. “Forgive and live” were words I fired from my weapon that have brought me a healing and a lasting peace of mind.

Rich Strack can be reached at richiesadie11@gmail.com