By Jennifer Lobasso

tneditor@tnonline.com

It’s back to work for another year, but memories of holidays linger.

My memories of the holidays before I had children are postcard worthy. Thanksgiving was spent feasting with family and friends with loads of laughter, and very little work. Shopping and preparing for Christmas was done with ease and were totally stress free. Decorating the house, putting up the tree, the smell of pine in the air, wrapping presents with Christmas music playing in the background … all magical.

That is … until I had children. Of all the parenting books or articles I have read, I have yet to come across one that prepares moms (sorry, dads … but we know who carries the burden here) for the holidays.

If I were writing one it would start like this: “Hello, Moms, just when you think you have figured out the perfect formula that allows you to keep your sanity and work, get your kids ready for school, help with homework, drive them to and from their slew of activities, cook dinner, fundraise, etc., along come the holidays. So, take that formula and throw it out the window, because your already hectic life is about to be multiplied tenfold. Best of luck keeping it all together.”

We all want to make the holidays special for our children. Odds are you will capture some golden moments along the way, but the rest of the ride is rocky and bumpy, so brace yourself.

If you hosted Thanksgiving this year as a mom with young children, then my hat’s off to you (I seriously do not know how you did it). If you traveled to a family member or friend’s house with your side dish, and got there with your kids dressed and on time — kudos to you, too. If your children sat quietly and ate their dinner, including peas, sweet potatoes and creamed corn, please tell me your secret. If you barely had time to shower and your kids cried, refused to eat or had a tantrum at some point, then know that you fall into the category of “normal motherhood.”

Just when you feel like you dodged the bullet of Thanksgiving, along came Christmas.

Since becoming a parent, I’ve been amazed at the different relationship I have with a number of normal Christmas undertakings.

• Wrapping: gone are the days of being able to close your bedroom door and quietly, carefully and skillfully create the perfect Christmas presentations. Now, you’ve got to have the stealth of a CIA operative to sneak some in before any number of children or pets beat down your door NEEDING your attention. Ribbons be damned as now you’re lucky just to get the edges of the paper to fit around the gift. Pinterest-worthy they are not.

• Baking: I love the smell of cookies baking around the holidays and have fond memories of walking into the kitchen as my mom or grandmother took some out of the oven. If I was allowed to help, mom gave me a safe job of mixing a bowl full of ingredients or turning the light on inside the oven to update her on how “done” the cookies looked. Regardless of the job, the process was orderly, controlled and tidy. Now, if I even attempt to bake, two “helpers” turn the process into a three-ring circus where I’m positive the end goal is getting flour into every crevice of the kitchen. Last year I think I even had to vacuum the dog.

• Pictures: Wherever I went I could forget about talking with neighbors or old high school friends as cries of “Mommy, take my picture” rang out in the air over, and over, and over.

• Visiting relatives: I’m guilty of never realizing all that my mother went through when we piled into the car on Christmas Day to visit my grandparents, aunts and uncles, but boy do I see it now! I didn’t see her organize the bags of gifts to be given or the food we were bringing.

I never realized the effort it took to pry kids away from all the loot they had just unwrapped all the while trying to convince those same kids that pajamas was not appropriate attire for visiting your relatives. It all just happened. (I do have a greater appreciation, though, for why my mom always seemed one issue away from blowing her stack!)

As most moms will admit, pulling off the perfect Christmas is an act that often seems like a miracle in and of itself. There are more frustrating, stressful moments than we’d like to admit. Why do we hold that all in and work so hard to make Christmas the magical experience of our memories?

Because when it’s all over it’s worth it.

The real magic of the holidays is found in the sacrifices people make to create a holiday that’s forever memorable.