OK. How many of you have ever done anything so monumentally stupid you can't begin to believe it?

I'm talking so stupid, you wonder how you managed to survive 64 years with all your fingers and toes.Well, I did a lulu. A real wallapalooza. It was about as stupid as showing up to climb Mount Everest in flip-flops and a bikini.Don't ask me what it was because I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone. It's bad enough I know how stupid I am. Well, OK, Harry knows. And two other people. Well, probably three. But that's it! Nobody else knows. And they only know because it involved them. Oh yeah. One more because Harry told George. Make that two more because I'm pretty sure if George knows, Diane knows.It's 10 times worse than when I locked myself out of my car and left it running. For almost three hours. Because I was too embarrassed to tell anyone other than Harry so I had to wait until he came home from work.A 100 times worse than waiting almost a half-hour for Harry to get in the car after a meeting before realizing I had driven there myself.What makes this one so painful is it will cost me money. And you know how hard it is to pry money out of a Dutchman's hand. Ach now!And no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to stop myself from doing stupid stuff.I wish they had Stupid School for people like me.They should have classes like: How to stop procrastinating 101; How to become an Einstein in 10 easy lessons; How to avoid doing things that have people saying, "You did Whaaaat?"; and for slow learners like me, a special yellow and black book with the title, "How to Survive Day to Day Life for Dummies, You Dummy."But knowing me, I would probably forget to mail in my tuition. Or lose my term paper because my computer "ate" it. Or flunk out because I'm just that stupid.OK. Enough of that. I think you get the picture.I'm going to switch gears now and go to a totally different topic.I want to tell you about this little corner in my mom's house. It's beginning to look like a Walmart warehouse.Mom loves "taking a ride." Once a week she'll call and say, "Just wanted to let you know I'm going to take a ride."Translation: "I'm going to the casino."In the past couple of years, Mom usually calls either Diane or me to let us know when she's going to a doctor appointment, grocery shopping or having lunch with a friend, "just in case something happens." But she reserves the phrase "taking a ride" strictly for a trip to the casino.I suggested one of those little necklaces, MedicAlert, but she said she's not ready for that. That's OK. I get a kick out of her "taking a ride" calls.Now I couldn't care less that she goes to the casino. One thing about Mom, she's an equal opportunity gambler.One week she visits Mount Airy. Another one, the Sands in Bethlehem. Once in a while, Mohegan Sun.Now when I say "gambler," I use the term loosely. Strictly a penny machine gal, I'm pretty sure she's not going to "bet the farm."And if she did, so what? It's her farm. I've got a spare bedroom if she needs it.Those casino people sure know their business. All they've got to do for folks like my mom is dangle something free in front of their noses and they've got a friend for life.Maybe she doesn't come home with her pockets full of cash, but she never comes home empty-handed.This week she plans on bringing home a Belgian waffle maker. It will join its friends in that corner of Mom's living room.Last Sunday my sister, Diane, came up with a great idea."Hey Mom. I think we all ought to go through your stash, pick out the items we want, put our names on them and then you can wrap them up and give them to us for our Christmas presents this year."I can't quite make up my mind if I want the George Foreman Healthy Cooking Multi Cooker, Sandwich Maker, Shark Steam Mop, Stand Mixer, Samsonite step ladder, Hamilton Beach 4-slot toaster, Presto Deep Fryer, Dirt devil, Pocket Hose, 7-piece cookware or Brentwood Electric Skillet and a Ninja Food and Drink maker.This list doesn't include the other items she has already given away at various Chinese auctions or my niece's Hope Chest she's filled up for her.The good news is, she's got another 15 weeks to go until Christmas. Who knows what other treasures she'll come home with yet?