Ben Franklin was a genius.

He was flawed like the rest of us, but a genius nevertheless.Called the "first American," he led the opposition against Britain's colonization and was instrumental in forming the United States.Outside your typical history book, Ben Franklin gave us much more than his signature on the Declaration of Independence.Most know about his discovery of electricity by flying a kite, but the rest of his list of inventions and original ideas is also quite impressive.He developed bifocal glasses, invented the Franklin heating stove, and improvised a rocking chair with built-in fly swatters to keep the buggers away during those hot summer afternoons on the porch.Franklin opened the first public library. He created the first fire department with a horse-drawn buggy and a bucket brigade. He designed a sewer system for under the city of Philadelphia. He had cobblestones installed to keep the rain from muddying the streets.With all that said, what I like best about Ben are the maxims and virtues he wrote in his "Poor Richard's Almanac." Here are just a few of them followed by my unquoted interpretations."Fish and visitors smell in three days." If she comes on Monday, it's time to take Grandma home on Thursday."He that lieth down with dogs shall rise up with fleas." Check out that troubled kid your son's been hanging out with lately."Tis hard for an empty bag to stand upright." Those who need a magnifying glass to find their moral conscience have no backbone."Eat not to dullness. Drink not to elevation." Two glasses of wine are good for you, but three makes you an alcoholic. How many times can you reach into a potato chip bag before you become a chipaholic?"If a man could have half his wishes, he would double his troubles." You're going to be sorry if you win the lottery."Nothing brings more bondage than too much liberty." If you could choose to do whatever you want, you would spend more time choosing than time doing."Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents, common or unavoidable." You stub your toe and it makes you drop and shatter a 200-year-old family heirloom. On the same day, your wife hits a concrete girder with the new car. "Who cares?" she says when she comes into the house. "So what's for dinner?" you ask, as you sweep up the broken glass."A truly great man will neither trample on a worm or sneak to an emperor." Stop picking on the poor kid for not cleaning the restroom at work and for God's sake, stop kissing up to the boss to try to get that raise.Ben Franklin lived by the credo, "Do as I say, not as I do." He ate too much, drank too much, and was a known womanizer, just like so many other prominent leaders in the history of this country.Bad Ben's misbehaviors cast an unfair shadow on this great man, according to Mark Twain, who wrote that children were often called "Ben Franklins" when they were disobedient. Twain claimed that Franklin's tarnished reputation was unjustified for one of the most extraordinary men to ever have served this country.If he were alive today, Ben's astute observation of human behavior might prompt him to update Poor Richard's Almanac. I've taken the liberty to write some of these maxims as he might have penned them himself.He who laughs the loudest cries the biggest tears.If a man invited to your party says, "I'll see if I can make it," cross his name off future lists.Never forbid an offering of romance due to illness.She who calls you friend to your face texts otherwise behind your back."For as long as we both shall live" translates to "until we both shall divorce."Those who end spoken sentences with, "you know," don't know.The air we breathe is free lest the government figures a way to tax it.Preserve the curiosity of a child; create a lifetime of wisdom.In my fantasy world, I would invite Ben Franklin to come and stay in our home.Only for three days, of course.Rich Strack can be reached at

katehep11@gmail.com.