When David and I were first married I took a rare trip by myself to Pennsylvania to visit Moe Jerant and my Lehigh Valley drumming friends.

I was anxious to see them because some of my best times were spent with Moe, Colleen and the djembe drummers.

The visit was timed to coincide with Bethlehem’s Musikfest so I could once again enjoy their djembe drumming performance and dance to the music of Moe’s great ’60s band, the Large Flowerheads.

Before I left for my flight back to Florida I shopped for a souvenir to take home to David.

I settled on a pillow that had a message that resonated with me: “Grow Old with me, The best is yet to be.”

I picked that pillow because the lines from Robert Browning’s poem were perfect to express my desire for a forever marriage.

Since it was a second marriage for both of us and we were an older couple, we didn’t know how long “forever” would be. But we both knew we wanted to grow old together.

At that time, just 11 years ago, I couldn’t relate to the word “old.” I thought we were both just two big kids having fun together.

But through the years as I looked at that pillow it became more important to me because I realize what a gift it is to grow old together.

The key word is “together.”

Growing old is a privilege in and of itself. Many people don’t have that choice.

Growing old together doubles the blessing. While growing old does bring physical problems, having someone by your side can make it easier.

The very act of having someone care about you and look after you is life-enhancing, experts tell us.

Most of us probably knew that without reading a scientific study.

During this long year of social isolation, many older seniors stayed home because of the pandemic.

“If COVID doesn’t kill me, boredom might,” said one 80-year-old man who’s finding his prolonged solitude almost too difficult to bear.

With so many older folks feeling the same way, it’s easy to understand why studies show being married is a huge benefit for mental and physical health, especially now.

Neither my husband nor I thought about all of that when we decided to marry. No one gets married because of longevity studies.

Here in Florida one thing that continues to amaze me are the high number of people who marry again in their 70s, 80s and 90s.

One 89-year-old friend who lost three husbands said she is looking to marry again because it’s so much more comfortable going through life with someone. She’s spry, fun and quite attractive so she might very well find happiness in a fourth marriage.

When my friend Louise lost her husband, she didn’t think she would ever enjoy life again. That changed quickly when someone introduced her to another widow looking for a dance partner. They’ve been together ever since.

I’ve often wondered if it’s like that in the rest of the country. Is it?

For some of us, the appeal of a late-in-life marriage is having someone to share life. To share the load, so to speak.

On our wedding night my gift to David was a photograph I took that captured that sharing.

The photo is of an old farming couple walking through a field carrying a basket of corn. Neither one could carry the basket alone, so they each took a handle and were able to carry it together.

I photographed them from the back as they were walking through the field with their shared load. The photo spoke to my heart when I took it two decades ago. Now that I’m older it means ever more to me.

As we grow older, we appreciate having someone to walk with us and share whatever life brings.

That, I believe, is the essence of Browning’s poem, Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.

I was surprised to read that Browning didn’t have the privilege of growing old with the love of his life, poet Elizabeth Barrett.

For years he thought it would be impossible for him to love any woman. He and Barrett first grew enamored of each other’s poetry then began a personal correspondence that was different from the norm because it was soul revealing.

She was almost 40. He was six years longer, describing himself as “No longer in the first freshness of life.”

They married one year after they met and had 15 years together before she died. They never had the privilege of growing old together.

According to all accounts they were extremely happy years and he was called “the most devoted husband the world has ever seen.”

The love letters of Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning continue to delight and enlighten us through the decades.

Her poem, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways” continues to be as popular as Browning’s “Rabbi Ben Ezra.”

Here’s the first section of the poem:

“Grow old along with me,

The best is yet to be,

The last of life, for which the first was made:

Our times are in his hand

Who saith, “A whole I planned,

Youth shows but half: Trust God: See all, nor be afraid.”

Plenty to think about in that one little poem.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.