By Pattie Mihalik

How good are you at accepting change?

According to Psychology Today, change is part of all life. It’s inevitable.

Yet, most people resist change, to one degree of another.

Sometimes, resisting change is just something small — something we might not note but others do.

For instance, in my former parish the priest asked for more volunteers to help with an upcoming church dinner.

I always like to help the church so I showed up and asked what I could do to help. The woman in charge told me to stand at the sink and peel potatoes.

While I was doing exactly that, a beefy woman came up and gave me a shove. “You’re in my place,” she said. “I always peel the potatoes.”

I was happy to be reassigned to the role of hostess, seating people as they in.

But I thought the “potato peeler” was a bit odd being upset with me because I was standing in her place.

Then there was Betty. She was a sweet and smiling receptionist — until the boss did something she regarded as “unforgivable.”

He changed her seat. He finally realized the receptionist’s desk was too far from the door. Plus, Betty sat with her back to people.

So he moved her desk near the door so she could see people as they came in.

Betty was so upset she had to take a leave of absence. When the boss wouldn’t change his mind, she told everyone that after 25 years of service the boss forced her to quit.

When I witnessed that happening, I thought, oh, I can accept change. I would never be like Betty.

But when we had to leave our hometown because my husband got a job a few hours away, I felt like a plant that had been forcefully pulled out by its roots.

I hated leaving my hometown where all my family and my husband’s family lived. Plus, I was leaving behind a job I loved at our local Catholic high school.

When I went in to tell the principal I was upset that we had to move, he told me God was sending me where he wanted me to be.

In other words, God moved my chair.

While it was tough being new in town and knowing no one, it turned out to be a good move in the long run. But it took me years to come to that conclusion.

There’s a big difference between accepting change and embracing change.

We accept change because for the most part, we don’t have a choice. But it’s harder to embrace change.

The hardest change I’ve had to accept was losing Andy.

Some told me they thought it would be easy for me because Andy was so sick for so long.

Were they ever wrong. I felt lost without him.

I’m definitely a proactive person. When Andy died I did everything in my power to get over my grief.

I went to three different programs on dealing with grief. I did all they suggested. I tried new things and made new friends. I even became a grief counselor and threw myself into helping others.

While I accepted change because I had to, I sure didn’t embrace it.

When I moved to Florida I took nothing with me except clothes, my computer and camera. I gave everything else away to charity and left for a new start.

Much to my surprise, the fresh beginning worked.

I learned when we finally embrace change we gain peace of mind, a peace that allows us to feel the joy of the present instead of being locked into the past.

I also learned the truth behind the message when one door closes another one door opens.

Just like we can’t see around the corner in a new place, we can’t see the future when we think all is lost because a door slammed shut on us.

Around a new door is opportunity — if we are brave enough to walk through it.

I found the unexpected when I finally embraced change. I found more opportunity than I thought possible and so much joy that I’m on a daily high.

Thinking back on my life, I know that school principal was right when he said God was sending me to where he wanted me to be.

Did I want the change? No.

Was it right for me? Absolutely.

I can think of several times when I was happy where I was. I wanted my time there to be “forever.” Or, as much “forever” as I could have.

But ready or not, willing or not, change kept coming.

It will keep happening, of course. Unwanted change will hit me just as it will hit every one of us.

What I’ve learned is to trust in the God that has always been there for me.

My husband used to have a statement of faith on his wall that said, “For all that I have seen, I believe in all I cannot see.”

In other words, Trust.

We all want to steer. We want to be the ones to determine when our chair will be moved.

It doesn’t happen that way.

I might never get to the point where I wholeheartedly embrace every unwanted change.

But I’m a lot better at it than I used to be.

What about you? How easily do you accept change?

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.