By Pattie Mihalik

One truism I like to keep in mind is that while we have no control over how many days we get to spend on earth, we can control how we spend those days.

We can decide to be happy, appreciative of all the day holds for us. Or, we can grouch about any particular grievance that wipes out our enjoyment of that day.

Not everyone believes we control our own happiness.

My very bright daughter believes it’s a bit simplistic to say we control our own happiness. “Happiness is largely tied to happenings in life,” she says. “A lot of it is out of our control.”

Yes and no.

If we are hit with so many storms that continue to wash over us to the point where we are drowning, of course it affects our ability to be happy.

Yet I know people who suffer major setbacks but they are “happy by choice.”

I have a friend who has endured so many setbacks that would have felled most people. At 73, she suffered a major financial setback. She lost her home and had to start over.

It’s not easy to go back to work at that age, but she did it, taking low-paying jobs until she built up a current resume that allowed her to get a good-paying position.

Instead of complaining about having to work long hours at her age, she takes a positive approach, saying she’s lucky she had enough skills to regain a regular salary.

Her personal circumstances are quite a bit lower than they used to be, and she has to forgo the trips she used to enjoy with friends.

But she remains happy.

“I’m happy by choice,” she says. “When I get up every day I determine I am going to be happy. And I am.”

Sometimes, when I’m struggling with problems, I remember my friend’s words about being happy by choice.

I find that concentrating on all the good things in my life allows me to truly regain my happiness.

I’ve told you about my friend Bobbi Sue who is fighting her third serious bout with cancer. She’s stage four and there isn’t a day that goes by that she isn’t in pain. Often, it’s overwhelming pain.

But she’s happy, she says, because she’s surrounded with people who care about her.

In other words, she’s happy by choice.

Bobbi Sue is an inspiration to all of us. I get tears in my eyes when I read her upbeat daily posts on Facebook.

I keep praying for her, telling the Lord how much we all need her.

I agree with Bobbi Sue when she says happiness is greatly influenced by with “an attitude of gratitude.”

If we are fully aware of all we have in life, it’s easier to appreciate life, even when things are tough.

I’ve often observed how personal wealth seems to have little to do with one’s happiness.

Some of the happiness people I’ve ever met have next to nothing. While at the same time some who own multiple homes and enjoy all the luxuries of life seem to be caught up in their complaints. If they are happy they are keeping it a secret.

We just finished up with the season of giving where I was given some extraordinary gifts from my grandchildren.

I mentioned before Christmas that I didn’t want a material gift. Instead I wanted the gift of presence, and my four grandchildren came through.

Even though our extended family was gathered together for the week at my daughter’s house, my grandkids managed to whisk me away for a one-on-one lunch that was meaningful in so many ways.

I told them I am aware that once grandkids are out on their own living in different parts of the country, it’s tough to schedule time together.

I know the feeling of wanting to know things about my grandparents’ life, but it’s too late. They are long gone.

With our one-on-one holiday lunches, my grandkids got to know me better, and I got to know them in ways never possible when we are all in a crowd.

I marveled at the values of Cameron, my 21-year-old grandson who has an aversion to waste. He puts expensive gifts for him in the wasteful category.

It’s delightful to learn that even at his young age he has a strong sense of what is truly important in life and what isn’t.

He values friends and family, outdoor experiences and enjoying the tranquillity of nature.

I don’t know what he’s going to do in life, but I have no doubt he will seek to make a difference in life, not to make a big pile of money.

My granddaughter Emmy is a recent college graduate with a passion for helping others. She’s not looking for the most lucrative field. She’s looking for one that will be meaningful.

As I listened to what she is doing in her volunteer work with the elderly, I’m proud of her desire to improve their lives.

As my grandkids make their way in this world, I think they will find meaningful lives. Hopefully, they will also find happy lives.

The older I get the more I am aware of the power of an attitude of gratitude.

It goes a long way toward determining our happiness.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.