There seems to silent epidemic going around. It hits all ages, but it’s something most of us don’t talk about.

It’s called loneliness.

It’s ironic that we are more connected by technology than ever. Look around and you’ll see almost everyone seems to be connected to this little thing called a cellphone.

Talking on your cellphone doesn’t replace real people contact. And I wonder how satisfying it is compared to actual people contact.

It’s ironic that in this age when everyone seems to be connected that the very thing that makes it easier to talk to people also is what makes real people contact harder to come by.

I got a short glimpse of this when my husband and I had another couple over for dinner. It takes a lot of effort to plan a meal and cook, but when I do what I look forward to is chatting at the table. After I don’t have to be jumping up and down to serve people and after dinner offers a chance for real conversation.

It certainly was how things were growing up in my house. After-dinner conversation was important. We didn’t just eat and run.

I never got that chance for conversation with our dinner guests.

No matter what was mentioned the wife pulled out her cellphone to announce what she found. There was no real conversation between us. The couple didn’t contribute any real conversation, aside from reading what she found on her cellphone.

Life surely has to be more than using your cellphone.

You might have seen something similar if you observe couples in a restaurant. Often it doesn’t look like they are talking to each other. Instead, the focus seems to be their cellphones.

When my husband and I were out for Valentine’s Day I commented that the other couples seemed more into their cellphones, not each other.

How many people do you see following what’s on social media instead of real life conversations.

I just read a big article called “The Art of Conversation is Dead.”

Conclusion: If it isn’t dead, it’s certainly on life support.

Over the years we seem to have lost the ability to talk to others. And that, in turn, might be one more reason why many people of all age groups are admitting they are lonely.

I used to think loneliness mostly affected older folks. Once you leave the workforce it is often harder to maintain social connections.

Yet all the resent surveys list those in their 40s and 50s as admitting more loneliness.

When I was in high school (forever ago) we took a speech class during which we each had to give two speeches. The speech teacher told us if we mastered talking to others we would find it gave us an easier social advantage. That’s even more true today.

Loneliness is something that is often discussed on social media. And sometimes the tips are worthwhile. One big warning about social conversation is it’s one thing to share your life, but don’t hog the floor. Instead, have a genuine desire to hear from others.

I know some potential friendships never happen, even when you are hoping for it.

Don’t fret. You know what they say. There are plenty of fish in the ocean. Learn from every experience.

Today, we keep hearing about the need to develop more contacts. Yet, at the same time, we learn that’s harder than ever.

It’s easy to understand why. We don’t have as much opportunity as we did in the past.

We once had bigger families living near other. That has greatly disappeared.

At the same time, the number of people living alone keeps skyrocketing. Since 1960 the number of people living alone has doubled. While many people seem to prefer living alone, it does have a down side with more isolation. Churches and volunteer activities are still good sources of people contact, but it takes work and it’s not as easy as it once was.

Another big change that leads to social isolation is people don’t interact with their neighbors as they once did.

Many don’t even see their neighbors because people tend to drive into their garages then stay in their air-conditioned homes.

Often, people can live in a place for months without being seen.

I can remember when we greeted new neighbors, perhaps bringing a little welcome gift.

One change that had me starting to feel social isolation was when most of my longtime neighbors died or moved away.

I used to love going out after dinner to spend time with my next door neighbors. We had a short visits each day but it kept us close. When they moved it all disappeared because the news owners turned it into a B&B. It’s impossible to get to know someone who is only there for a week or two.

When our entire neighborhood changed for the first time I started to feel lonely.

But when I too left the neighborhood my daughter moved in. She is ecstatic about the friendly neighbors. Which just goes to show it’s how much effort one puts into getting to know the neighborhood.

I moved into a senior living environment where I have found the friendships I was seeking.

The bottom line: Don’t accept social isolation. Keep trying to make connections that are right for you.

Email Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net