Most of us wouldn’t hesitate to help someone in need of a helping hand if we were able to do it.

Granted, some are more willing to help others, if they are aware of sincere need.

Yet, most of us would never want to ask anyone for a bit of help.

My husband, David, is certainly in that category. Even something as simple as asking a neighbor to help move something heavy is beyond his comfort zone.

In the 17 years that I’ve been married to him I’ve noticed that he will find a way to do it himself. Or, he’ll ask me to help carry something heavy. Sometimes it is beyond my capability. Then I’ll ask why he doesn’t ask our neighbor.

Well, one thing I’ve found through the years is that a woman is more willing to ask for a helping hand when she needs it. Most guys won’t do it. They must think it takes away some of their manhood.

Some guys are lucky when they have close friends who often stop by to socialize. Then they don’t have to ask for help. Their buddies just offer without being asked.

During the marathon of work I had to do to get ready to move from one house to another we set a date with the movers for when they would be here.

No matter how hard or how long I worked I didn’t think I would make it on time. There was too much that had to be done.

I think the problem was that I didn’t give myself enough time when I agreed to on the date the movers said they would come.

As I struggled with meeting the deadline that seemed to be set in stone I kept wondering what I was thinking to put myself in that bind. It was a month earlier that I originally said I was moving. It was obvious I wasn’t thinking. I just let myself get caught in a bind.

Also, it was more than two decades since I moved and I had forgotten how much work it was to do mostly on my own.

OK, here’s a bit of truth telling. When some of my very good friends offered to come help me clear out my house I didn’t take them up on their offer.

I told them that was because I first had to decide what was to stay, what needed to be donated and what need to be thrown way.

I admit I have an aversion to throwing anything away. I try to find a new home for everything. It took a long time to find new homes for much of my stuff.

There were many, many decisions I should have made long ago instead of doing it all in a few weeks.

Enough of my excuses. I would rather tell you what I learned about myself in the process.

In past columns you might remember times when I complained that many of my wonderful friends either passed away or moved away. The old gang of mine was no longer there.

Well, what I learned about the new neighbors that replaced some of my friends was that they too were wonderful. I just didn’t give them a chance.

Mostly it’s an age thing. These neighbors are decades younger than I am and I figured they lived in different worlds.

But what they taught me is that niceness isn’t about age. It’s about a goodness within.

When I was looking for someone to install the new ceiling fan and light, I was surprised when a new neighbor across from me said he would do it.

He and his wife worked together to do it for me. He wouldn’t take money and said he likes to help others when he can.

Other neighbors came to offer help in me move. Another neighbor noticed I needed air in my car’s tires so he came over with his new air pump.

I never asked any of them for help. But they came on their own.

It made me aware that I missed out on their friendship because I didn’t reach out to them. Since I’m the one who lived here for years I should have been the one to extend the hand of friendship.

If they would have been older I probably would have gone to meet them instead of making up my mind they wouldn’t be interested.

Instead of saying I missed my old neighbors and our social times together I should have been reaching out to my new neighbors.

So many of my friends complain that neighbors aren’t as friendly as they used to be years ago. And maybe the neighbors wish they had friendlier people around them.

One friend told me an interesting story about how her new neighbor did reach out. When she saw my friend and her husband drinking a glass of wine in their yard the new neighbor called out: “Can I come over for some wine?” Now they are good friends.

Most of us wouldn’t do that.

Ask yourself how do you reach out to others.

Email Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net