So you hosted a dinner party.

You invited some friends who came. They ate, drank and left merry.You hoped for return invitations to their homes. You waited.In the mean time, you had another party and invited these friends again. They came, ate, drank and left merry.You never did get invited back. You learned this lesson.These "friends" like invitations as long as they're not the ones giving them out.I think it's normal to feel disappointment when invited guests come to parties in your home, yet never return the favor.A while back, I knew a couple with six kids and not much money. They enjoyed having as many as 15 guests in their homes at regularly scheduled affairs."You have people in your home because you love to entertain, not because you expect them to invite you back," they said.That may be true, but then I think we just might as well invite strangers to our parties because we wouldn't care if they didn't reciprocate.Our so-called friends are another story.In a recent survey, party never-givers were asked to respond as to why they don't offer return visits.One woman said she and her husband believe their own home is a private place just for the family, yet they never minded going to parties in the homes of others.Another said she and her husband couldn't be bothered with the preparation and the cleanup."It's nice to leave the mess to somebody else."Still another said she and her boyfriend were a lot of fun when they go to other people's homes, and that's that. No desire to reciprocate.You get the idea that these people are a bit self-centered.Radio talk show host Dr. Laura says that party guests who don't reciprocate are not friends. "True friends would want to invite you back because friendship is a two-way street."She also labels nonreciprocators as "users," those who see nothing wrong with imbibing in someone else's food and drink because there's no cost or care to themselves.Other reasons for not reciprocating include "our house is too small" or "we don't know how to entertain" or "we can't afford to throw a party."When we have a party, invited guests usually ask what can they bring. With tongue in cheek, I say, "Bring all the food and drink. We are offering nothing more than our wonderful company."All kidding aside, hospitality is not weighed on a grand scale that requires heavy amounts of caviar appetizers and Dom Perignon champagne. It's measured by the kind of generosity you can't buy in a store.'Tis the season for giving time and gratitude to loved ones, which should be more special to them than anything that comes with a price tag.My wife and I like that our home is a meeting place for family and friends. Our children can grow up with special memories from these times. Not only do they get to play with other kids in our home, they get to be involved with adults talking and laughing, which becomes an opportunity to develop their social skills.I have a good friend who used to have large affairs. He and his wife would have 25-30 guests at an event. He would complain that certain attending "friends" would always come, but never ask them back even for a cup of coffee.He now owns a shirt that says, "No reciprocation - no visitation."To borrow a popular phrase from that fat man in the red suit, now when my friend writes a party list, he's "checking it twice. …"Another friend, a single man in middle age, threw large parties and picnics at his home. Most of his guests never reciprocated."It did bother me," he says. "I was just trying to be a nice guy and sometimes people take advantage of nice guys. You certainly find who really cares about keeping you as a friend."Speaking of caring, opening the doors of our homes to reciprocate the hospitality of friends and family is inviting them to stay inside our hearts as well.