A few weeks ago in my column I briefly mentioned my surprising good relationship with my stepdad Ziggy.

But I have since realized I short changed readers by not explaining how strange that relationship was at the start.

Most of all, I shortchanged a 13-year-old boy named Jerry who told me he is now going through a difficult time accepting his stepfather.

I briefly told him about my relationship with my stepdad and said good things might happen if he gives his stepdad a chance.

“No way,” he retorted. “I want my father back.”

I believe his mother is complicating Jerry’s home life by refusing to allow her son to see his father. When I couldn’t persuade her, I started thinking about some of the smart things my mother and stepdad did when I was a 12-year-old who suddenly had a stepfather.

While I can honestly say I had no negative feeling about Ziggy because he was a nice guy, I was overwhelmed with how strange the whole situation was.

I remember keeping most of my feelings to myself. But when I was alone at night I did plenty of sobbing.

While I loved my father as much as life itself, I knew he put us in a terrible position by moving away and starting a new life without paying any support for me and my brother.

One thing was clear to me. No matter how tough we had it, my mother would always manage to take care of us.

One day she told me she was marrying Ziggy and they were going to buy a house together.

We were all about to undergo a lot of strange changes but I had no qualms about it because I knew my mom was fiercely protective of me and my brother. She would always take care of us.

The thing I couldn’t understand was when my mother said “I’m doing this for you.” She was a woman of few words so I took what she said to heart, even though I didn’t understand what she meant.

How could she possibly be marrying Ziggy because of me?

I was glad my mom’s life would be easier because she deserved it. While I was heartbroken at not being with my father, I knew we were all better off with gentle, quiet Ziggy.

I saw Mom’s life change as he took her dancing and they did things together.

My life changed too in little ways because of Ziggy.

We now had the support system of a family.

Although Ziggy treated me like a daughter he was smart enough not to try to be my father. I had a father I loved.

Because Ziggy worked on the railroad he was able to give me free passes so I could go see my father.

My dad told me I was a lucky girl because I had two fathers to love me.

While Ziggy and I always got along I didn’t really know he loved me until I came down with spinal meningitis. The last thing I saw as the ambulance attendants carried me out of the house was Ziggy sobbing.

Kids grow up with their parents telling them how much they love them.

It’s different when you get a father figure as a teenager.

Ziggy was never married before and he didn’t have any younger siblings. So we both had to go through unchartered waters.

Brave man that he was, he taught me to drive which takes an act of courage.

I learned if I wanted something I should ask him, not my strict mother.

If I came home 10 minutes after curfew my mother said I was grounded for two weeks.

Then Ziggy would say, “Come on, Ann, don’t you think two weeks is too long?”

When I was planning my wedding I wanted my father to give me away. My mother said it should be Ziggy because he’s the one that raised me.

Before it could erupt into a fight, Ziggy said no, my father should give me away. He was content to be the one smiling proudly in the front pew, he said.

You just gotta love a guy like that.

It was when my mother got Alzheimer’s disease and eventually had to be put in a nursing home that my love for Ziggy flourished even more.

He drove an hour each way every single day to be there with my mother.

One morning when I went to visit I saw Ziggy gently stroking my mother’s face, telling her she was still beautiful.

I vowed I would always be there for him, just as he was there for my mother.

Sadly, when Mom passed away Ziggy’s Parkinson’s disease grew worse and he had to go into assisted living. Surprisingly he loved it and people there loved him,

I drove to see him every weekend, bringing goodies for Ziggy and his new friends. Up until he passed away, we enjoyed spending time together.

From two strangers who had to live together when he married my mom we had become a true family.

What that experience taught me was to be welcoming to every new person who comes into your life. You never know how that new person will enhance your life.

I’m hoping my young friend Jerry gives his new stepfather a chance.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.