I was taking classes at LCCC on Sept. 11, 2001, and it started as a normal day with me getting there by 7:30 a.m. for an early class.

I had picked up my coffee and doughnut from Weis in Schnecksville and finished them off in the car while listening to Howard Stern on the radio. Class was uneventful and I was soon back in my car to go home.As I pulled out of the lot, Stern was still on the radio and had made some comment about planes ramming the skyscrapers in New York City. I thought to myself "that's really crude, even for Stern!"Then his voice sounded like it changed to me; he wasn't joking. I flipped the channel to all news and heard the announcement that "two planes had hit the twin towers, we are under attack."I drove from Schnecksville to my home in Palmerton in less than 10 minutes. I ran in my house, ignoring my dog, and snapped on the TV.Life changed.I really could not believe what they were showing, and then the story of the Pentagon came through. I think that's when my first wave of helplessness came upon me.The first tower fell and it was announced a couple of minutes later that another plane was down in rural Pennsylvania.As the second tower came down, I thought by the looks of the flames and billowing smoke that surely Manhattan was gone!I can still recall running out onto my porch with this feeling of "what do I do, what can I do?"I looked up and down my street and some of my neighbors were also outside, everyone just stared at each other.I went back in the house only knowing that someone was flying planes into our biggest buildings.I tried to suppress my fear and utter shock, and that's when I remembered my wife, Deborah. She worked for a small graphics art company based in Nesquehoning.Today was one of the two or three days that she ever left the office to go to see clients. She was headed to the tallest building in Philadelphia with a couple of other office people.That total feeling of helplessnessenveloped me. I was almost inconsolable at that point.Now I had been an ambulance driver and attendant for many years prior, and I had my share of feeling like I couldn't help someone enough during certain emergency calls, but that feeling paled in comparison to what I was experiencing right then.I tried what seemed like long, drawn-out minutes to get her on her cellphone, all the time fighting the feeling of nausea.When I did reach her, they were aware of the situation and still on the turnpike outside the city.I begged her to tell the driver to turn around. Their fear was as great as mine and they pulled off the turnpike and headed home.The helplessness stayed with me until she got home later.To this day I have never viewed the video of the towers coming down and only occasionally have seen the shots of the planes hitting the buildings.I feel that I don't want to remember what that helplessness did to me, how it made me feel, how it made so many people like me feel.Brad M. DollLehighton