There's something to celebrate everyday of our lives. At least that's what the calendar says.

In the month of August alone, we have National Respect Your Parents Day, but if you don't feel like doing that you can celebrate National Raspberry Cream Pie Day instead. Then there are National Underwear Day, National Wiggle Your Toes Day and National Middle Child's Day. If you are pressed for time, you can eat the pie dressed only in your underwear while you wiggle your toes and call up a middle child to congratulate him all on the same day.If there is any open day left on the calendar year, I would like to propose a National Stupid People Day. On this date we would acknowledge the dumbest things that people have done.Let's begin with the drunken guy in Maine who this past Fourth of July died while shooting a mortar firecracker off the top of his head. Now his mother wants stricter regulations on the sale of fireworks, prompting one attorney to say, "You can further regulate the sale of fireworks, but you can't legislate stupidity."How about the woman who tried to dry off her cat after it came in from the rain by putting it in a microwave oven? The poor feline imploded. The woman sued the microwave company. Now the instructions booklet must state that you should never put a pet in the microwave oven.Another woman sprayed a spider in her home with an aerosol can and then set it on fire. She killed the little bugger, but she burned her house down too."Stupid is as stupid does," said Forrest Gump. A young man tries to rob a Dunkin' Donuts after his mother, who happens to be the store manager, gets off from her shift. He pulls a gun on the cashier, unaware that his mom is standing right behind him because she stayed later that night, She pulls the gun away from her son and as he says, "Aw, mom." She slaps him silly and then calls the police.All of us do stupid things. We just hope that no one notices. Just the other day, after making breakfast for my daughter, I put the rest of the frozen waffles in the pantry closet instead of the freezer. I have driven past my own driveway on a few occasions in a total mental zone out. Yes, people do notice and give you that what are you stupid look, as if they never did anything dumb like me.How about looking for your glasses when they're on top of your head? I called my friend and he said he couldn't find his cellphone. Then he realized he was talking to me on it.A Florida man head-butted a bus and knocked himself out because he refused to pay a $2 fare. A Fox news reporter, commenting on a surfer event, remarked, "Why can't they rid the area of sharks during the competition?"The problem we would have with National Stupid People Day is that it would encourage more stupid behavior. Look what the program, "Jackass" did. One of the show's stars wanted to know what a hamburger feels when it's placed on a hot grill, so he dropped his pants and seared his bare backside with perfect grill marks. Word passed around that he couldn't sit down for a week.So to honor NSPD, I would do these things that were all done before by, well, stupid people. I'd call 911 when my air conditioner stopped working. Then I'd rob a convenience store, but on my way out when I see a "help wanted" sign on the door, I would go back in and fill out an application with my name and address and leave it next to the register I just broke open. Then just before bed I would put drops of super glue in my eyes to be sure I get a good night's sleep.Don't call me a stupid idiot, That's a redundancy. Call me a smart idiot, because the next time I do something stupid, I'll make sure no one is watching.