I'm singing a song right now. Perhaps you'll remember it. The Coasters recorded it in 1959. It goes like this:

"Poison ivy, poison ivy, Late at night while you're sleepin' poison ivy comes a'creepin', Around. Measles make you bumpy, And mumps'll make you lumpy, And chicken pox'll make you jump and twitch. A common cold'll fool ya, And whooping cough'll cool ya, But poison ivy, Lord'll make you itch! You're gonna need an ocean of calamine lotion, You'll be scratchin' like a hound, The minute you start to mess around. Poison ivy, poison ivy, Late at night while you're sleepin' poison ivy comes a'creepin', Around."Yeah. You guessed it. I've got it. And of course, it's driving me nuts!No, I did not personally lay in a bed of it and roll around. I get mine by osmosis ... otherwise known as Harry.Harry is constantly working and playing in the outdoors. As a mason, he encounters it when working on chimneys, walls and other types of masonry. When he takes Sassy out to run, he walks through brush and fields loaded with it. Does he get it? Nooooooo.I had people tell me I can't get it from Harry. Hah! According to my good friend the Internet, you can get it from touching it or touching something that has touched it, like clothes, the dog, or your husband.The culprit is the oil from the plant, urushiol. Urushiol is in the leaves, vines and roots. Tearing out the vine is so dangerous because it releases lots of urushiol.If you know you have been exposed to it, within an hour or so you should rinse with lots of cold water, like from a garden hose. Hot water will open your pores and let the oil in. So taking a shower could be a disaster. (Although, after you have the rash, a hot shower feels like heaven when it hits those itchy spots!)For up to about six hours, washing with alcohol may still help remove the oil, but many say that after a half-hour the oil has soaked in and you can't remove it. The next day is really too late. Seeing a doctor for early treatment can prevent the rash before it really starts.The oil from poison ivy stays potent, almost forever. You can get a rash from clothing or tools that have the oil from last summer, or even from many years back. So if you don't remove the oil by washing, using alcohol to dissolve it, or by just hosing off with a hard spray from a hose, assume it will stay forever.A guy was exposed to poison ivy while camping and got the rash. The next winter, he went camping again, slept in the same sleeping bag, got the rash again. He washed it several times, but three months later slept in the sleeping bag and got it again. This time he threw the bag away.If you've been around poison ivy, your clothing will have the urushiol oil on it. If you can afford it, throw the clothes away. The Internet article says the clothing will always have the oil on it. If the clothing is too good to toss, wash it with bleach, and wash it twice. It will lessen with each washing.Another guy worked for a landscaper. He never had poison ivy. One day he was weed whacking around a fence and ran it right through a very large patch of poison ivy. Wearing shorts, it sprayed the stuff all over his legs. By the next day the rash started on everything between the knees and ankles, and he had a giant, blistering, weeping mass. It took three months of treatment to finally get rid of it.With the rash comes the itching. Oh. The itching.At first you get a slight itchy spot, which gets worse and worse. It can be a small itchy area that will be annoying, or it can cover your whole body with giant red sores that will drive you nuts. The poison ivy rash can be one of the itchiest experiences a person will ever have.I went to the doctor and she prescribed a topical cream to help with the itching. I had to laugh when I read the side effects: Can cause burning, itching, or. Makes you wonder why you would apply it? What's the difference?Are you ready for this one? There is a Skin Rash Hall of Fame. If you've got the stomach for it, type in 2013 Skin Rash Hall of Fame and the website will come up. The only good thing that came from seeing it was it made me feel better because I don't have it as bad as most of those people.If heat eases your rash, aim your hair dryer on it or take a hot shower. Another suggestion is to mash jewelweed and apply to the rash. I just read this one ... spray the itchy area with a deodorant containing aluminum. Excuse me for a moment. I've gotta try that one.OK then. That one's pretty good.The rash may last a week to three weeks. Prescription remedies make it go away much faster.Did you know that no animal, other than humans, can get a rash from poison ivy? Isn't that special? Goats and other grazing animals even eat the greens, and birds eat the seeds.But beware. We can get a rash from the urushiol oil on the fur of our pets. If you know or suspect Duke or Fluffy was around poison, wash the animal wearing thick rubber gloves, not latex. After washing the animal, wash yourself off as well, using cold water to keep the pores closed.Well, I hope I've enlightened you all on the many aspects of poison ivy. If I could spare one other person from suffering with the rash, my work here is done. If not, email me and let's commiserate with each other.