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Published October 08. 2011 09:01AM

Patrick Bartoletti, a chef in New York City, is a guy you have to admire, especially when he sits down at the kitchen table.

Patrick recently won an eating contest in New York in which he consumed (inhaled?) 32 Cannolis in six minutes.

What did he do to celebrate his victory? He headed for his favorite pizza joint.

"I didn't want to eat anything sugary for a while, but I'm not exactly full," he explained.

Who said chips aren't good for you? The guy who was credited with creating Doritos, Arch West, died last week. He was 97.

I'll take that number of years in a heartbeat.

Next time you head out to your favorite diner for breakfast or lunch, try slinging these phrases when ordering your meal. If your cook, waitress or waiter is an old timer, they'll probably remember this jargon, young ones will probably think you're weird. This list was sent to me by a loyal reader who found it in a recent edition of Reminisce Extra Magazine.

- Halloween in a snowstorm: that's pumpkin pie with whipped cream.

- Burn the British: toasted English muffin.

- Two biddies on a raft and wreck 'em: two scrambled eggs on toast.

- Blindfold those biddies: eggs over easy.

- Bride and groom, or two looking at you: fried eggs.

- Burger with breath: hamburger with onions.

- Pig between the sheets: ham sandwich.

- Kitchen mystery, or clean the kitchen: hash.

- Beans to go: coffee to go.

- Boiled leaves: hot tea.

- Leaves in the hail: iced tea.

- Scorch a dog and drag it through the garden: grilled hot dog with relish.

- Stack of wheats with slick and grease: pancakes with syrup and butter.

- Coney Island bloodhound: frankfurter.

- Elephant dandruff: cornflakes.

- Baa-baa in the rain: lamb stew.

- Crippled beef on a load of hay: corned beef and cabbage.

If any of you old time short-order cooks or waitresses know any more innovative ways to order a meal, please pass them on.

I watched on the news this week, those protesters marching against Wall Street in New York, and it reminded me of a scene out of the 1960s, when hippies were protesting the Vietnam War, and advocating free love.

I'm going to miss not seeing and listening to Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes. Wonder what made him retire so young?

Want a reason for the Philadelphia Eagles' slide? They've been outscored 36-0 this season in the fourth quarter. Maybe the lads aren't in good shape and get winded in the final stanza. Either that or they're chokers.

I told you last week's Air Force-Navy game would be the most exciting football on TV all weekend. And I was right a one point Air Force victory in overtime. This week it's Air Force and Notre Dame. Watch for another barn burner.

And, yes, New Jersey Governor (and presidential hopeful?) Chris Christie does look a lot like a young Ralph Kramdon.

I regret that I never took the opportunity to walk up the Washington Monument and view the capitol from the top. Now, none of us may ever get the opportunity to do so, because of the earthquake damage done to the national landmark.

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