We just went through a walloping heat wave.
What did you do to keep cool?
I consider myself blessed.
I work in an air-conditioned office, drive in an air-conditioned car that takes me to my air-conditioned house.
When I get home from work, I put on my swimming suit and jump into my pool. Now under normal conditions, that should be a refreshing experience. But last week, the water temperature was up to 90 degrees and holding. It was like swimming in a crock pot and I was the main ingredient. By the time I'd get out, Harry would be standing there with a knife and fork, salt and pepper, and a hungry gleam in his eye.
I remember one summer about 10 years ago, I had to do an article on the heat wave we were having then. I broke a raw egg on the concrete sidewalk and took a picture of it when it fried enough to turn the egg white, white. Now that's hot! (Kids, I know you're bored, but do not try this at home. 1. Mom will not appreciate her good spatula being ruined as you try to scoop it up. 2. It won't be edible and Mom will yell at you for wasting a good egg. 3. It's going to be a stinker to clean up and Mom WILL make you clean it up! 4. But if you're not afraid of Mom, go ahead and try it. It's a hoot!)
Remember when Johnny Carson of "The Tonight Show" use to say to Ed McMahon, "It was so hot today." And Ed would ask, "How hot was it?" Then Johnny went through a list of how hot it was like "It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.'"
It's so hot ...
*Harry isn't complaining that the air conditioner is on all night in the bedroom.
*The flowers in my garden have gone on strike because I forget to water them so they refuse to bloom for me. In fact they're so militant about it, they're actually dying for their cause!
*I went on strike about cooking but Harry reminded me that I have air conditioning and the heat outside is no excuse. I'm not yet ready to die for my cause so, tacos tonight.
*The birds stopped singing. Every time they try, they end up coughing because their little throats are so parched.
I received this email and thought I'd share it with you. They rank right up there with some of Johnny's responses.
From Paul Heil's Gospel Great's Weekly Newsletter "On the Lighter Side."
It is so hot ...
*all the corn on the stalks started popping and flying through the air. The cows thought it was snowing. And they froze to death.
*the potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
*farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
*the cows are giving evaporated milk.
*the trees are whistling for the dogs.