I remember a time when I visited nearly 30 Coaldale bars on Halloween night. And came away cold sober.
Of course, I was only 12-years-old, and kids back then quickly learned that trick-or-treating in bars proved to be a most lucrative pastime. The patrons would require the tricksters to perform a song or a dance, then we proceeded to pass the hat around the bar, and it usually came back filled with pennies, nickels, dimes, peanuts and candy bars.
Today there's not enough bars remaining in the local towns to make trick-or-treating there worthwhile.
But in case you old tricksters who remember those bygone days are contemplating a little trick-or-treat nostalgia trip tonight here's a few thoughts provided by a loyal reader. He may have stolen them from David Letterman, but I'm not sure.
You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say: "Great Boris Karloff Mask," and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
And the number one reason Seniors should not go Trick Or Treating...
1. You keep having to go home to go to the bathroom.
No matter, have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN anyway.
Another reader also provided the following a sampling of what 4-8-year-olds think of love, and "What does love mean?" Their impressions will tug at your heartstrings.
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined See what you think:
'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love. '. Rebecca, age 8
'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy age 4
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy age 6
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri age 4
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'. Emily age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.' Bobby age 7
'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'Nikka age 6
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.' Noelle age 7
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy age 6
'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy age 8
'My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare age 6
'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris age 7
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann age 4
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren age 4
'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' Karen age 7
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'Jessica age 8
And the final one:
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry'.