When Steve was alive, we usually made several trips a year to Ocean City, New Jersey. It was our happy place.

Three-day weekends in the spring and fall found us there, as well as a longer stay in the summertime, usually with some friends.

Over the years, we tried every single pizza place on the boardwalk, the kids rode every ride in every amusement park, and as they got older, we started working our way through all the mini-golf courses.

While we took other vacations, OCNJ was our home away from home. A place where we were comfortable enough to sit on the beach and let the kids run up to grab a slice of pizza or an ice cream cone.

Steve loved fishing from the beach, which was the main reason for our off-season trips. We usually stayed in the same motel, even requesting the same room for its proximity to the pool.

2020 was the first time that we didn’t make that trip since before E was born, and we didn’t make that trip together as a family ever again. The kids and I tried a quick trip in the year following Steve’s death, but it was just too heartbreaking so it has been a few years since we’ve been back.

If you’re on social media, or if you read parenting literature, you’ll frequently hear that you have only 18 summers with your kids. In our case, we only ever had 10 summers together as a family, and we didn’t know that last summer would be it for us.

While we’ve done more traveling, and sat on a few beaches since then, it just hasn’t been the same. E had the opportunity to go on a beach trip with a friend earlier this summer, and when she got back, she asked me if we would be able to take one of our weekends and just go hang out at the beach, like we used to.

This was a tough one for me, because it had a lot of memories, but if we were only going to be able to go for a day or two, I wanted to go to a place where I didn’t have to do too much planning.

As luck would have it, we didn’t get a weekend, just a day that she had off school and I was able to take off work. So, off to OCNJ we went. Early on, it didn’t seem like the weather was going to be on our side, as our day was coming on the tail end of the hurricane that passed by the East Coast. We decided to take the trip anyway, because a rainy day at the beach is still better than a day spent moping around the house.

We set off early in the morning, heading to our favorite pancake house for breakfast, followed by a quick walk on the beach, even though it was raining. We hunted for seashells and other bits of debris washed up on the beach by the storm.

After getting a little soaked, we decided to do some indoor activities for a while and strolled down the main street of shops. Due to the inclement weather, we didn’t face many crowds at all.

Not long after that, the sun came out and we grabbed our chairs and headed for the beach. E and I both tried our cartwheels in the sand. She had much more success than I did. My hip is still a little sore; apparently it doesn’t like moving in that direction anymore.

We ordered pizza from our favorite place and ate it on the sand, shooing away the curious seagulls. After a few hours of pure relaxation, it was time to head home, with our favorite soft ice cream cones in hand.

I wasn’t sure about how the trip was going to go, but I ended up coming home refreshed. On the way home, E and I talked about things she remembered from our earlier trips, crazy things that Steve did while we were at the shore, and we also made plans to come back again soon.

I’m glad I gave it a second chance. There really are just too many memories there to turn my back on, and I’m ready to indulge in happy ones now.

Of course, there are changes. The old motel we stayed at has been completely remodeled and now appears to be a “luxury” property. One of the old pizza places is now the home of a seafood boil. I’m sure there are other changes, too, but as far as sitting on the sand, watching the waves crash, well, we can count on those to never change.

We only had those 10 wonderful summers together, but we certainly made the most of them. I’m grateful that E has good memories and was happy to be in a place that was so important to our family. Ten, 18, more than that, less than that, whatever it is, make the memories, and then don’t let them go.

Liz Pinkey’s column appears on Saturdays in the Times News