You know the old expression “sticks together like glue?”

When I was growing up that could describe my family. We all did stick together like glue. I realize the main reason why we were all so close was because of my mom and her four sisters.

They made it happen because they planned all activities as a family unit, not as individual families.

And believe me, as a lively Italian family, we got together often. We did Sunday dinners, outings and vacations all together.

Planning where and when we would go anywhere was never a hassle. My Aunt Rose was like E.F. Hutton. When she spoke, everyone listened.

When she said we were all going on a family vacation no one said they had other plans.

As a result of all that togetherness my cousins and I grew up more like siblings.

My cousins believed in the motto, “My casa, Your casa.”

When I was going to a prom or special occasion my older cousins had plenty of beautiful clothes in their closets. I was welcome to pick what I wanted.

We shared secrets, clothes and values. The older cousins never told the younger ones to go away. We all embraced each other as one big family.

I thought it would always be like that.

I set the stage telling you how close we were for a reason.

I didn’t realize we all could stay close primarily because we all lived in the same town.

When my older cousins got married and moved away I felt sorry for them to be leaving the nest.

A few years later my husband and I had to relocate because of his job. Even though we moved I truly still thought my aunts and cousins would stay close to me and to one another.

What I didn’t understand at first was that every family funeral and every move to distant places was hacking the family apart.

But the most devastating blow came when we lived far apart.

What I learned was this sad fact: When the glue is gone, a family will never be the same.

The glue in many families is the mother. Often, she is the one that keeps a family together. As I told you earlier, when the mother is gone the family support system weakens and nothing is ever the same.

My Aunt Rose was the strongest family organizer. When she passed away I thought the other four sisters would take it over. It never happened.

Not everyone has that ability. The older I get the more I realize few are good at herding a family into one big unit.

I made a serious stab at taking my Aunt Rose’s place. But I didn’t have her toughness.

It’s not easy to keep a family together, especially when the family is scattered geographically and the family glue is just about gone.

There was a time when I was complaining to my sister Mary Ann that my brother Richard rarely called me. I always have to be the one doing the calling.

“So what does it matter who initiates the phone calls,” countered my sister. “All that matters is that we stay in touch.”

That was well said.

My dear friend Lenny is fond of say saying the same thing.

It doesn’t matter who placed the call. All that counts is remembering to call your loved ones.

I love hearing from my brother Richard.

Sometimes too many weeks go by until I remember to call.

Yet, I need to call more often because Richard is fun to talk to.

My South Port Community has a worthwhile program that gives us six new questions to ponder each week.

Here’s are some suggested tasks we were given: complete at least one daily puzzle; write down a favorite memory and then share it with the class, if you want to; dance like nobody is watching.

There was at time when I couldn’t do that. I thought I wasn’t a very good dancer. But then I realized it wasn’t about winning a dance contest. It was about having fun. When I changed my attitude I started having fun. Then much to my surprise people started to tell me I was a good dancer.

The last task of the week was to tell why you are proud of yourself.

I didn’t come up with five reasons why I’m proud of myself.

The week is gone but I’m still trying to think of an answer.

That was a little harder that last week’s task asking us to write down what make us happy. I could do that all day because basically I’m a happy person.

Yes, it’s fun. But maybe you can learn something about yourself if you try to answer some of the questions.

Email Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net