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DeSchriver Power Rankings: Signed, sealed and delivered for second season

Let’s start the season off with a big announcement.

No, I’m not going into the Transfer Portal, hoping to get picked up by The New York Times or the Sisseton (South Dakota) Courier, although the latter would put me much closer to my favorite fishing spot - Roy Lake State Park in Lake City, S.D.

I am declaring myself available - and desperate - for NIL deals.

If you are unfamiliar with NIL, it stands for Name, Image and Likeness. Collegiate players can get paid for the use of their name, image or likeness.

It’s only a matter of time before it drops to the high school level, and I’m here now to bring it into the journalism world.

I took a hard look at what I like to do and what skills I have, and came up with several areas where local businesses might profit by inking me to a deal.

As you probably figured out, I love to fish. Beltzville Manor Marine could use my image on the side of night crawler bait containers so every time a fisherman reached in to grab a slimy worm they would see my photo. My image would become synonymous with night crawlers.

I enjoy a good cold IPA - especially after fishing - so Top of the Barrel Beer Distributor in Tamaqua could make a commercial of me drinking copious amounts of suds and going on how great the beer is at their store. (I have the Uber app on my phone.)

I also like to hike - before drinking beer - so the good folks who run the D&L Trail could put up huge billboards of me every two to three miles along the trail. The 141-mile trail is run by a nonprofit, so I’d be happy with a catchy slogan on the billboard instead of money: “Can’t sleep after an invigorating hike? Then read this guy’s column.”

The Times News could even sign me to an NIL deal, using my name and image - and fine-honed editing skills - to benefit the paper. Wait, we might have a deal in place already - they deposit money into my bank account every two weeks.

But enough of my money-making schemes for one week, it’s time for the much-anticipated DeSchriver Power Rankings.

What? You never heard of it. It’s now in its second season, and obviously needs an NIL deal to gain more exposure.

9. - Panther Valley

Uphill crawl for the Panthers.

8. - Lehighton

Indians had nine months to improve. Tough schedule could mask progress.

7. - Tamaqua

Same as above, except swap out Indians for Blue Raiders.

6. - Marian

Expect another jump by the Colts. Stan Dakosty knows how to coach.

5. - Jim Thorpe

I don’t pretend to be a football savant, but if I had a 6-5, 270-pound tackle who is a Syracuse commit, I think I could figure out what to do offensively. Noah Rosahac can expect opponents to stack two to three defenders in front of him, but I expect the Olympians to pound the ball behind the big fella.

4. - Pleasant Valley

Standout student-athlete Fela Olaniyan has graduated after gaining more than 1,100 yards in his senior season, but coach Blaec Saeger has the team trending in the right direction.

3. - Northwestern

A team with a score to settle with Northern Lehigh, just like Palmerton.

2. - Northern Lehigh

Nick Frame, all-state-do-everything-quarterback, is at Bloomsburg University and Matt Machalik is still sitting in the classroom at Palmerton High School. Bulldogs will get their chance to prove they are top dogs.

1. - Palmerton

A year from now, Machalik will be woofing down pizza at Lehigh Pizza on the Southside of Bethlehem, but before that the Lehigh recruit has some work to do. First up is beating Northern Lehigh, then setting his sights on Colonial League and District 11 titles. The best player in the Times News area is why the Blue Bombers get the nod as the preseason No. 1.

Fun fact: Northwestern defeated Pen Argyl in golf by 8 strokes on Aug. 15. How did the Tigers do it? Avri Chandler (86), Ethan Kozlowski (87) and Cole Dynda (87) were 11 shots better than the Green Knights’ third, fourth and fifth scorers. Golf, like cross country, is a sport where your third, fourth and fifth scorers are just as important as No. 1.