We’ll be heading out on our first camping trip of the year soon.

Where we are going exactly, I can’t tell you. It’s somewhere in the Clear Creek State Forest, which is somewhere west of here and part of that very large green area you see on a Pennsylvania map.

With no towns nearby, and what looks like a lot of dirt roads crawling around in all the map’s green, it’s safe to say that we’ll be smack dab in the middle of NoWheresVille.

We reserved a rustic campsite, complete with dirt to sleep on, plus a fire ring and picnic table! Anything else - like running water or restrooms or even the chance of seeing another person - well, none of that stuff is around for miles.

But I did say I’m going camping, right? Camping as in that thing you do when you want to, as they say, “connect with nature” and “rough it.”

Days will be spent “connecting with nature” by maybe listening to birds singing or seeing a deer run by. Nights? You know, that will involve listening to owls hooting and seeing tons and tons of stars in the skies above NoWheresVille.

All the while, we’ll be roughing it.

Of course, we will pack a tent. We will have hot dogs and we can cook them over the fire on sticks that we will find in the woods.

But, what if it rains? We won’t be able to light a fire. We’d better pack a camp stove. We’ll need pots and pans for it. I’d better throw them in.

Oooooohhhhh! Now I’ll have the equipment to make things other than hot dogs! I’m thinking bacon and eggs for breakfast, and maybe a steak or two for dinner. I’ll need to have some side dishes - and some snacks and sweets!

I’ll pack a cooler. Actually, two. One will have foods and the other will have drinks. Should I take an insulated lunch bag in case we decide to hike and need frosty drinks and sandwiches?

Speaking of frosty, I’d better have a heavy sleeping bag instead of just the blankets I was counting on. The ground might be cold, so I must remember air mattresses and the air pump. Oh, and sleeping in uncharted territories might be a little easier if I bring my favorite pillow.

If the birds aren’t singing and the owls aren’t hooting, I can’t go without some kind of noise. A radio is in order. I won’t have cell service, so certainly I can find that portable DVD player and some movies. Batteries only last so long, so I’ll stock up on them.

Right, right, right. Batteries. As in no electricity. It will get pretty dark out there. I’d better throw in a propane lantern. Flashlights, too. Maybe one of those head lamps so I can keep my hands free while I’m trying to work the DVD player for a late-night showing of the comedies and classics I will bring.

Field guides are a must, too. I’ll need them to identify plants, fungi and birds. If the plant guide leads me to an edible one, I’ll cook it up with the spices and condiments that I’ll add to the bin with the other cooking supplies. And if it doesn’t agree with me, I’ll have Pepto-Bismol, aspirin and allergy meds in a backpack I’ll designate for emergency supplies.

I can consult these guides - and some of the magazines and books I’ll bring - when I’m relaxing at the picnic table. Hang on. That reminds me of the time I sat on a picnic bench before I realized its wood was splintered. Ouch!

So we’ll throw in the camp chairs with the little cup holders. Is the place where I’m staying getting inundated with black flies? I’ve read about them somewhere in Pennsylvania. Enclosed screen tent? There’s gotta be room for that.

I can also throw in some long pants and long sleeved shirts to save me from biting flies. I’ll need heavy socks, maybe sandals, hiking boots, hoodies, casual clothing for those “off” days, and maybe something a little nicer in case we come across people. Knitted hats and ball caps, too, because bad hair days are always a given.

I’m on this.

After all, we’re gonna be “roughing it” and “connecting with nature” without all the comforts of home.

I expect we’ll raise a toast to our little camping trip. I can already hear the clink of the fancy wineglasses I’ll pack.