Way back in 1965 the comedy team of Tom and Dickie Smothers made a hit album called “Mom Always Liked You Best!”

It became more than an instantly popular comedy routine.

To this day, “Mom always liked you best” is their most famous line.

I loved watching their deadpan routine and never tired of Tommy’s “Mom always liked you best” delivery.

I laughed every time I heard it. Still do.

Yet, in many homes it’s not a laughing matter when someone perceives their mother favors a sibling.

One male friend of mine says he always called his sister “the favorite” and called his brother “only little.” I guess as the oldest child he was the responsible one.

I too was the oldest child and yes, I was the responsible one.

Birth position has a big influence on family dynamics.

I always tell people my mother had three only children. My brother Richard arrived seven years after me and my sister Cindy came when I was 18.

Yes, being the oldest meant taking on more responsibility, but that certainly had its advantages. I learned to be a can-do person because that was my role with my two young siblings.

When my brother was in high school, he came to me with a problem. “Mom loves Cindy best,” he said. “She always spends more time with her because Cindy is the favorite.”

The Smothers Brothers routine had arrived in our house. I had to tell him that Mom loved us all equally but birth order was a big factor.

I told my brother every time mom had a baby she improved on the model.

“You were a much better child than I was and Cindy is the best yet. She still wants to spend all her time with Mom while you and I want to be with our friends,” I told my brother.

My mother was only 18 when she had me. I was a scrawny, sickly baby and life was hard for my parents. By the time my brother came along circumstances improved for my mother. Things were even better when my sister arrived. Instead of being mired only in problems, my mother could enjoy having Cindy, who was absolutely the perfect child. She still is.

I think it’s true when people say parents change over the years. My mother was extremely strict with me but was far more lenient with my brother and sister. Mom often said the oldest child has it the hardest.

She said motherhood is a learning experience and admitted she got better at it through the years.

No one could quarrel with that.

When I had my own two daughters it was the Smothers Brothers “Mom always liked you best” routine all over again.

I was more than a bit stunned when Andrea, the second born, said she got cheated because I spent all my time with her sister. I thought the opposite was true.

I never believe in discounting anything that’s an honest feeling. Yet, oftentimes perception and reality differ greatly.

What surprised me is that in raising two daughters who are two years apart I always felt that Maria, as the older one, got cheated.

Today’s parents have a houseful of baby stuff. We only had one secondhand stroller that could only seat one child.

We only had one car, too, so my daughters and I had to walk everywhere. As the baby, Andrea got pushed in the stroller but 2-year-old Maria had to walk everywhere. I felt so bad when she had to trudge along on her little legs when we walked to town.

Ironically, I also felt guilty having so many fun adventures with Andrea while her sister was in school.

As soon as Maria left on the school bus, Andrea and I began our day of adventure. We went to a nature park to feed the chipmunks and squirrels or we climbed a little mountain and enjoyed nature walks.

When I did my weekly newspaper interview, Andrea loved coming along.

When I think of my daughters’ childhoods I picture Maria sitting in front of the TV while I drove Andrea for guitar lessons, gymnastics and baton.

Each daughter had different interests and we tried to honor their individuality. Maria liked being with her books and favorite TV shows while Andrea thrived on classes, camp and being around others.

I always thought Maria got cheated. When she got older, I tried to be there for her, but when that happened Andrea thought I was spending all my time with her sister.

As parents all we can do is to try our best and hope we don’t miss the mark.

I never expected to hear a grown daughter say Mom always loved you best. It is so far from the truth.

But if perception is someone’s truth, I can’t discount that, even though I don’t think it’s reality.

I’m sure that as adult both my daughters know how much they are loved. They are my joy.

I know they love me enough to forgive my trespasses, both real and imaginary.

One truism I told my daughters. With age and hindsight, their perceptions of the past will change.

I won’t be around by then, but I hope that what survives though the years is knowing how much they both were equally loved.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.