With Christmas around the corner, my family is still asking what I want for Christmas.

Come on, my family says, point us in the right direction.

They need suggestions because when you get to be my age you’re not easy to buy for, they claim.

My mother took care of the gift-giving problem decades ago when she and my sister drove to my house every year for a marathon Christmas shopping trip. My two daughters along with my mother and sister made our annual shopping trip a treasured tradition.

We trudged from store to store until we each found something we wanted. Most of the time what we liked best ended up as our “surprise” Christmas gift.

It didn’t matter what they bought me as a gift. The real gift was being able to enjoy being with them. When you no longer live near family, every time you spend with them is precious.

I might not remember what they gave me from year to year. But I will never forget the absolute pleasure we all found in being together.

Now that those shopping trips are just a happy memory, my daughters insists I need to tell them what I want.

What I want most for Christmas is something I cannot have.

I want to be with my family.

I want the big family celebration COVID wiped out.

Last year when my grandsons asked what I wanted from them for Christmas I said what I craved was spending private time with each of them. When everyone is together it’s fun, but we don’t get to share deep feelings.

The one-on-one lunches with my grandsons have stayed in my heart all year. No material gift could match it.

Sadly, I won’t even see them this year.

Because of COVID-19, there will be no flying to spend Christmas with family.

We are exchanging gifts through the mail while our hearts will ache for what we really want: To be together. If you have the gift of being with family, treasure every minute of it.

I’ve long realized no matter how much I spend on Christmas gifts I won’t be giving my family anything important.

The really important things in life can’t be put in a box and gift wrapped.

So while I know my daughters and I seldom give each other a truly meaningful Christmas present, I also know we give each other more important gifts all year long.

I will go so far as to say we give each other life-sustaining gifts all year.

Because she knows my isolation because of coronavirus is difficult for me, my daughter Andrea calls me just about every day.

There is no way she would regard those phone calls as a gift. Yet, they are a life-sustaining gift to me.

Every time a daughter phones, I know it’s a gift of caring. While I may not have any semblance of my old life, those phone calls remind me I do have what’s really important - the love of my family.

We also continuously give each other the gift of encouragement. We are a vital support system to each other.

If we are wrestling with a problem, we know we can have the important benefit of savvy input. I call it “three brains in search of a solution.” And we often help each other find that solution.

We know we can always count on each other.

What a precious gift that is.

There are also times when we have to give each other the gift of forgiveness. We are not the perfect Home on the Prairie family. Occasionally we make mistakes and miscues.

I made a lot of those mistakes when I was raising my daughters. I find myself wishing the expression “Too soon old, too late smart” didn’t apply to me. But it does.

In later years, I’ve learned it’s important to admit mistakes, say you’re sorry, and hopefully learn from the experience.

Fortunately, my daughters say the important thing about their childhood that stands out for them is that, no matter what, they knew how much they were valued and loved.

With every year I love them more.

One lesson I learned about Christmas is not to try to show love through gift giving.

All the important gifts I want for them and for all of you aren’t the kind one can wrap and put under the tree.

I wish I could give everyone the gift of peace. True, deep, internal peace. The kind that stays inside regardless of what is raging outside.

Who doesn’t need a deep and lasting inner peace during these trying times?

I wish we all could learn to find joy in little things. We all have the opportunity to find joy in simple things.

Hearing a bird singing a solo outside our window, going for a walk in the woods, taking a ride to see the Christmas lights. Eating an ice cream cone with the enthusiasm of a child.

I wish you all a child’s gift of wonder.

As a nation we’ve been wounded. We all could use the healing balm of kindness, decency, positivity and compassion for others.

I wish you all the knowledge that each new day is a gift.

And I wish you joy in unwrapping that gift every day of the year.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.