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Where we live: Rites of passage

Life is full of rites of passage. Graduations are a big one. Typically, graduations are held in a school auditorium, stadium or other venue. Friends and family join in the festivities, cheering on their student as he or she crosses the stage, shakes the superintendent’s hand, and exits the other side one more step into adulthood.

This year was different.

On July 24, seniors at Pleasant Valley High School will take their turn at the Pocono Raceway, driving up one-by-one to receive their diplomas.

Although most of the class will be there, four graduates have already moved on to the next chapter of their lives. Christal Awe, Madison Beerwa, Ismael Cenexant and Deven Venegas crossed the high school stage and posed for pictures exactly one month to the day before their classmates officially move their tassels. They had to. They were due at basic training in the military. When their classmates hear “Pomp and Circumstance,” Awe will be at the U.S. Army’s base at Fort Sill in Oklahoma, Beerwa in the U.S. Navy. Cenexant and Venegas both joined the Pennsylvania Army National Guard with Cenexant headed to Fort Benning in Georgia, and Venegas to Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri. Venegas also plans to participate in the ROTC program at Shippensburg University.

As parents, we raise our children to be independent adults who are ready to stand on their own as contributing members of society. But when they fly the coop, we lament - just a little bit - in our success and loss.

Life’s rites of passage are not just for the person passing through them, but also for the people who love them. The people who rejoice in their successes. The people who look fondly on with excitement for all that their lives could potentially be.

With graduation, all the dreams you had for your son or daughter, all the hopes you have for their successful, happy lives are now at this pinnacle, at this threshold, at this passage. For 18 years, you’ve held their hand, and now it’s time to let go.

Being the parent of an adult child is harder than being a parent of a child. It’s a tightrope of being there to give advice and support, but only when asked, and recognizing when you’re being asked and when you’re not.

It’s also letting go of dreams and expectations that were yours and not theirs. It’s letting go of control, holding your breath and hoping you did everything right you could do, say everything right you could think of, and give them everything they need to make it on their own.

Yes, graduations are a rite of passage for parents, too.