For the past few weeks, when I am in a crowd or with friends, I have a question I've been asking: What do you do for fun?

Often people give me strange looks when I ask that."Fun?" they will retort, as if fun is a strange concept they haven't thought about for a while.And maybe they haven't. As a whole, once we reach the responsible stage of adulthood, fun isn't our top priority. Often, it's not even on our radar screen because life has so many other serious pursuits.We're busy making a living or taking care of our responsibilities. So many of us keep our minds focused on our "to do list," chalking things off one at a time then going on to the next chore.I guess I started thinking about all that when two friends I hadn't seen in 10 years stopped to visit. We went to dinner and caught up on each other's lives.Through the years we spent together in Pennsylvania, we couldn't get together without having fun and laughter.But sometimes life gets tougher when we are older and we keep getting hit with unexpected problems.My two friends shared what was going on in their lives, telling me about their work woes (too much of it) and all the challenges they were facing.Then I asked them if they ever managed to have fun anymore. They both gave me those strange looks I mentioned.One said she had too many problems to have fun. Her sister said she was too busy to have fun.That conversation was the impetus behind my asking others what they do for fun.Everyone has to have some sort of fun in life, even if what's fun to them doesn't sound like fun to others.Most people, myself included, don't think cleaning is fun. It's a chore we have to do. But when my husband insisted on helping me with some overdue in-depth cleaning, instead of drudgery, we turned it into a day of fun.No, not the funny ha-ha kind of fun - just the deeply satisfying feeling of being pleased with what we were accomplishing together.Mostly, I have fun every day (and it seldom includes cleaning or staying home for that matter).I have fun when I'm on a bike looking at spectacular scenery as I pedal by. I have fun when I'm in a kayak having another water adventure. I have fun going to dinner with friends. And I certainly have fun when we're out dancing.I also have fun when I'm in the kitchen making a new recipe. I love experimenting with food. It's something I find relaxing.So, I have a ready answer if someone asks me what I do for fun.Believe it or not, a recent discussion about having fun in life turned almost confrontational. A good friend questioned my declaration that I was in the stage of life where I was dedicating myself to having fun.She looked askance at the thought of someone spending time in such a frivolous way."But don't you want to achieve something?" questioned my friend.I told her I had spent four decades of my life achieving one thing after another. Now, what I wanted to achieve was simply to enjoy life.My friend insisted I could be doing so much more with my life. "You're a talented writer. Why not write a book," she said, "instead of only writing for newspapers."I told her I would find no appeal in sitting by myself in front of a computer for long periods of time while I wrote a book.My joy is in being with people and getting to know interesting things about those I interview.I also love the actual act of writing. I thrive on being as creative as I can while telling someone's story - then going on to another week to tell a different story.For me, all that is sheer fun. But it wouldn't be fun for me if I had to spend a year or more writing the same story.I tried to explain my version of fun to my friend. But she seemed to think I was wasting my life if I didn't have a more serious pursuit - like writing a book.I'm always amazed when people think having fun isn't a meaningful enough pursuit. I do have plenty of meaningful things in my life. But I always save time for fun.Today someone stopped by to ask me to serve as a director of our neighborhood association, monthly meetings and all. I said no.No one gets to the end of life wishing they would have spent more time in meetings.Like the Bible says, there's a time in life for everything. This is my soft time, my fun time, something I prayed for decades ago.Last week, while visiting our friends Franck and Jan, they said their version of fun is when friends stop by for a visit.No wonder we like them so much.Another woman who knows how to have fun goes dancing several times a week and also enjoys plays and concerts.But her best version of fun? "Playing with my grandkids," she said. "Nothing is more fun than that."Few grandparents would disagree with that.So, what about you? What do you do for fun?Contact Pattie Mihalik at

newsgirl@comcast.net.