One day, mom and dad chickadees were flitting about their nest taking care of their two new hatchlings. They fed and cleaned their babies all through the day and covered them with their bodies at night.

A couple days later, the sun rose above the backyard and off to find food were the parents. When they returned, one of their babies was missing. It had fallen from the nest to the ground where it sat trembling in the grass.

Mom and Dad took turns swooping down to clear the air of possible predators. They followed the routine all day until the dark of night arrived. The baby bird had regained some strength and had stumbled into some nearby brush to hide.

The next morning, the little bird reappeared on the lawn. It began to flap its wings, but every time it tried to fly, it dropped back onto the ground.

Meanwhile, Mom and Dad continued to feed and care for its other baby in the nest that was growing bigger every day. That afternoon, Dad watched with anxiety the one on the ground trying to fly. Spreading his wings and bouncing from tree to tree, Dad was singing, “chick a dee dee dee.” He was cheering on his son to fly, fly, fly.

Finally, an attempt was successful and the little bird, weakened by its failures, but strengthened in spirit, lifted itself into the air. It flew into the next yard where it satisfied its hunger by eating the seeds it found from a plant.

A week later, the other baby bird was still in the nest, and Mom and Dad continued to take care of all its needs. Three more days passed by before a storm knocked this baby bird out of the nest to the same spot where its brother had fallen. It sat there for hours, afraid to move, looking up at the nest as if it wanted to go back home. Mom and Dad were frantic and even tried to bring it food, but the baby bird was too scared to eat. Just before dusk, it happened. A hawk darted to the ground and picked up the baby in its talons. Mom and Dad squawked at the hawk and the bird fell from of the predator’s grip and back onto the ground.

The parents screamed again. Dad poked the baby with his beak, trying to make it fly, but to no avail. Moments later, the hawk returned and this time it carried away the little chickadee, never to be seen again.

Our children need us for everything when they are small and we give them the best of our efforts to take care of them, but there comes that day when they want to be independent, to fly away from our nest. We try to hold them back and keep them safe from this dangerous world, but they defy our control. There comes that day when they leave our homes to live on their own.

Our children will fail, but like the chickadee that was strong in spirit, our kids will flap their wings, gain their independence, and through trial and error, they will figure out how to live their lives away from our nest.

The first big test happens if they go to college where the challenges are much more difficult than just putting their minds into academics. What other lifetime experience requires a person to live with a total stranger for a full year in a room the size of a walk-in closet? There are other tasks they must do that had been done for them at home like cooking meals and washing clothes that become their responsibility at college.

Studies show the number one reason for quitting college is homesickness, missing Mom and Dad who took care of all their needs right up until the day they left for school. Leaving the nest is much too traumatic.

Our parents told us baby boomers that once we graduated high school, get a job, go to college or join the military and move out to live on our own. Nowadays, adult children still living with their parents is a rising phenomenon. A 2026 study by an educational survey group revealed that 50% of young adults between ages 25-30 still live at home. Valid reasons are worth mentioning. The cost of living independently, paying for rent or home ownership and for all the utilities is out of reach for many young adults; there are also those with emotional dependencies that prohibit them from living on their own.

Another interesting paradigm that keeps the kids home. Parents do not want their children to leave because an empty nest forces a husband and wife to regain their relationship that had been sacrificed through years of raising their kids. Some couples welcome this time to be together; others feel lost and lonely without their children.

Author Allison Bottke said, “Only when our adult children are forced to face the consequences of their own actions — their own choices — will it finally begin to sink in how deep their patterns of dependence and avoidance have become. And only then will we as parents be able to take the next step to real healing, forever ending our enabling habits and behaviors.”

I’ve heard it said many times. “We don’t own our children; we just rent them for a while.”

Two baby birds. One flapped its wings until it could fly; the other was too frightened to move. One child left home and lived a good life; the other child became a victim of the hawk.

Email Rich Strack at richiesadie11@gmail.com