Today I had to spend time doing something unpleasant but necessary.

I had to update what I call my estate plan, but that’s just a more pleasant way of referring to making modifications to my final arrangements.

I’m glad I revisited those documents because what seemed to be what I wanted years ago changed a bit over the years.

I have always believed in making as many of our own final arrangements as we can. It spares my daughters from having to do it at a time when they will be overcome with emotion.

Some people shy away from every thought of being gone from here.

My husband Andy always handled his emotions very well until I told him we had to go pick out our burial sites.

“Why? Do you think I’m going to die?” he asked.

I told him, Yes. We all are. But we can make things easier for our family is we take care of those plans.

When I drove to the cemetery where we planned to be buried I said we had to pick a site. I pointed out a site I liked with plenty of nice trees and sunshine.

He refused to get out of the car. It was almost as if he thought it would hasten his death if he looked at the site.

I regarded that cemetery as my old stomping grounds. When I was a kid they had picnics there and we kids ran around as if it were a playground. I often went there with my family when they took care of family graves. So it was never a scary place for me.

But Andy never did get out of the car. He mumbled “pick what you want.” So I did.

When he did die eight years later we were all glad we were spared some of the tough parts. I was right when I said children after a death of a loved one don’t want to make those tough decisions.

I used to plant petunias on his grave because that was his nickname for me. I knew I was doing it for me, but it made me feel better.

Now that I moved to Florida I have to make another final decision.

My girlfriends who lost their husbands altered the traditional way of having the burial right after the death. Instead, they were able to wait a few weeks when emotions weren’t as raw. Instead, it was a happy time of laughter and remembrance.

They suggested I might want to do it that way when the time comes.

But I don’t want to stay in Florida when I die.

I want my final resting place to be back where I belong. Florida is beautiful. No matter where you look you see beauty all around you. And the Florida sunshine is glorious.

So many nights I sit outdoors watching the wonderful wildlife and appreciating the stunning views.

It’s where I live and I love it.

But it’s not home.

For me, the coal regions of Pennsylvania are home. I have always been proud to say I’m a coal region kid. From the anthracite coal mountains of my hometown to the friendly folks of surrounding areas we are proud of our coal region roots.

One of my close friends is gorgeous and I admired so much about her. But I could never understand why she never wanted anyone to know she was from the coal region.

She was doing quite well financially but said she would be embarrassed if her friends knew her father was a coal miner.

When I was a kid my father worked in a coal hole as an independent miner. And I was so proud of him to see how hard he worked to support his family. He came home so tired at the end of the day that my job was to help him pull off his boots.

I guess that’s why I liked the song “Coal Miner’s Daughter.”

When I went to my high school class reunion one of my classmates said what he liked about me was that I did a lot after I left the area but I never forgot I was a coal miner’s daughter.

I think that was one of the nicest things anyone said about me.

I found coal region people would do anything to help others. But then again, I think most people are like that.

As I meet so many people from across the country I often find that they, too, have fond memories of their hometown.

I haven’t been back to my Pennsylvania hometown for many years but I still regard it as “home.”

I’ll be back there for good some day.

My readers know I’m always honest about what’s going on in my life.

I hope there aren’t too many like Andy who cringe at the thought of not being here forever.

But perhaps some might be motivated to make their own final arrangements.

Email Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net