This has been a surprising Christmas season.

By some miracle, Christmas has landed in my heart. No matter what goes on in my life it can’t dim the glow.

For many people, maybe even for most people, Christmas makes them happier.

I’ve never been one of those people. A long, long time ago when I was 10, Christmas arrived with a heavy, confusing thump.

By 10, most kids today don’t believe in Santa Claus. I guess I had late development because at 10 I expected to wake up on Christmas Day and find presents from Santa.

My next door neighbor Joni tried to tell me there was no Santa Claus. It was our parents, she said, who perpetuated the Santa Claus myth. When I didn’t believe her she told me to go up in our attic right before Christmas and I would find presents my parents would put under the tree.

Well, I kept checking our attic and there were no presents. All that told me was that Joni made it up. I believed Santa, or maybe my parents, would put presents under the tree.

Christmas Day was a heart-chilling day I would never forget. There were no presents under the tree for me or my little brother.

Worse yet, my mother told me my beloved father had left. She held my hand and told me I had to be strong. She had no car and no job. We had to walk a few miles to my aunt Theresa’s house to see if she would take us in. Teresa said with three teenage children she had no room for us.

So we walked more miles to my aunt Rose’s house. It was way smaller but my Aunt Rose’s heart was way bigger. She made a nice bedroom for us in the attic and her welcoming spirit helped us.

She was my Christmas present. What I learned from those months of living with her stayed in my heart forever, showing me a way of life I wanted to emulate.

My mother worked two jobs to support us and made sure we never had another Christmas like that.

I never complained about anything because I realized the situation my mother was in.

But each Christmas I was silently sad inside, remembering the Christmas when my world fell apart.

It wasn’t until I had children of my own that I welcomed Christmas. I had fun playing Santa and leaving Santa’s gifts.

But I never had the same wonderful feelings about Christmas that others had. I just never admitted it.

Well, here’s what happened this year.

Our loving Jesus put joy in my heart that nothing could shake. What’s going on in my life now is far from tranquil. I won’t bore you with details.

Yet, no matter what problem or trauma comes my way (and there are some worrisome ones that try to steer me away from focusing on gratitude) I have an overriding joy and peace.

I feel the miracle of the Christ child and I know it is another one of His gifts for me.

In the weeks before Christmas for the first time ever I listened to music, sang Christmas songs and gloried in a deep peaceful joy. I never experienced anything like it before,

I did nothing to earn it or deserve it, and I can’ explain why this Christmas is so different.

All I can do is the say thank you, thank you, thank you for the gift of peace.

I make sure I don’t take it for granted because that’s so easy to do.

Some days when I go for my morning gratitude walk I find myself halfway through my walk when I realize my cluttered mind has taken me away from the purpose of the walk.

It’s ever so easy to take the gift of a new day for granted, to take life for granted.

The mind can sometime be a garbage can, covering the beauty and worth of the day.

When I found that happening one day I had to concentrate hard to refocus. I did that by truly feeling the day. Seeing everything with new, fresh eyes and appreciating instead of taking it for granted got me back on track. I know I will slip again because it’s human nature.

One friend tells me when that happens to her she just keeps naming blessings over and over until it fills her with an awareness of the joy of life. Sometimes, she says, she falls asleep at night by naming her blessings.

One of my favorite Pennsylvania friends is battling cancer and just had one leg amputated. Through it all he sings the joy of life.

He is a blessing for me, a guidepost for many of us. I know he must have his dark moments. But he always focuses back on the goodness of his life.

This is the time of year when I have to come up with gifts for family and close friends.

What I really wish I could give each person is the gift of peace. I wish it were possible.

But it’s something each of us has discover.

Wishing you joy and peace and new discoveries for the new year.

Email Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net