OK, I’m now thinking about a platitude that goes something like this: What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.

One truth we don’t talk about so much is this one: We’re stronger than we think we are.

Absolutely no one wants to find that out firsthand. Sure, it’s good to survive a crisis that seemed like it would overpower us. And it’s even better if it was our own fortitude that helped us survive difficulties.

I just witnessed a relative’s strength in overcoming some big problems. Major ones. It was strength she didn’t know she had. But there was no one else who could help her. That realization, she said, made her dig down deep to help herself.

Was it easy? No. But her success in finding her own strength helped her be better prepared for knowing she can push through whatever comes her way.

I must say I am quite proud of her.

Kelly Clarkson had a hit song last year called “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You).”

Many found inspiration in the empowering lyrics and upbeat rhythm. Some told their stories on social media, saying they related to Kelly’s song on a personal level. Some wrote in say the song gave them strength.

One woman wrote that she survived early sexual abuse and severe beatings. When she heard Kelly’s song she said she made it her mantra. Instead of struggling with her past she said she became determined to turn it into motivation to grow her own personal strength.

One thing is certain, Kelly’s website did give inspiration to some.

They wrote to say they worked to turn their personal crisis into something uplifting by refusing to let it continue to daunt them. They grabbed onto a bit of success and held on to it, vowing to overcome the past.

I watched one woman’s story unfold at a women’s church group where we help one another.

The woman came to every meeting but sat there quietly, never saying a word. It was a big surprise when she went to the group leader and said, OK. I’m ready. I’m ready to tell my story.

We keep everything that happens in the group confidential. But I will say this. Watching the quiet woman find the strength to tell her story was like watching a beautiful flower unfold in unexpected ways.

It took her years to find enough inner strength to tell her story.

She said she felt stronger when she could finally talk about what was weighing her down. “It finally lost its power over me,” she said.

In our women’s meetings, we all help each other.

And sometimes we can all join in celebrating a success.

One of the many things I like about that group is that it dispels the belief that we can never change. We often see change in members. Sometimes it’s small changes, sometimes it’s consistent changes over time. Each successful change can be empowering.

If you want to help someone who is struggling offer sincere encouragement.

One friend was having a hard time coping after her husband died. She was filled with grief and bitterness. All she could do was cry.

My way of encouraging her was to offer to take her to our local grief support. I went with her for the first two times so she wouldn’t feel like a stranger. The first time she mostly cried but the second time she went she said she got a lot out of it.

I told her not to be ashamed to cry because her tears were just love for her late husband pouring out. She found the grief support classes were a great fit because everyone there was in the same boat.

The woman who runs the class is extraordinary

She has the gift of making everyone feel like family.

It’s been two years and my friend still goes every week, sometimes bringing newcomers. Now, she’s the one helping others.

She tells everyone I gave her life back. All I did was open the door. It was my friend who made the decision to walk through that door.

They have such as lively, loving class where everyone is supported, and it’s all because the leader went through the grief process and wants to help others.

The class has progressed to what I call caring friends, who now are involved in helping others. One class member had to sell her house after her husband died, and the other members all came to help her move.

I know from experience that those who help others get as much out of it as the one being helped.

Here’s a little example of that.

When I needed to reach the high shelf in a supermarket I couldn’t begin to get what I needed. I waited for a tall guy to come by then asked him if he would help me. He gladly got what I needed from the top shelf then asked if I wanted him to help get anything else.

Before he walked away he thanked me for making him feel good by doing a good deed.

It was just a small interaction, but we both walked away smiling.

Sometimes it doesn’t take much to make someone’s day.

Email Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net