There was an old story about a traveler who stopped at a village well to draw a drink. A young man nearby immediately held out his hand and said, “That’ll be a coin.”

The traveler blinked. “For what?”

The young man shrugged. “For standing here while you poured the water. People usually give me something.”

The traveler smiled, took his drink and walked on.

Later, villagers asked why he didn’t pay. “Because gratitude is a gift,” he said, “not a toll booth.”

It’s a story that many past a certain age face every time a payment screen swivels around, flashing a row of tipping buttons.

What used to be a simple thing — pay for your meal, leave a tip if you choose — has become a moment of pressure, judgment and confusion, especially for those on fixed incomes, such as senior citizens.

Tipping has become less about appreciation and more about expectations.

Just take a look at the tip screen at the cash register. They’re designed to guide customers toward high percentages — 18%, 20%, even 25% — before they’ve had a chance to think.

The “no tip” or “custom tip” option is hidden somewhere on the screen, and if there’s a line behind you, the whole process becomes a small social performance.

What used to be a private decision is now a public moment where you’re nudged to prove your generosity rather than protect your budget.

And the screens aren’t limited to sit down restaurants anymore. They’ve crept into takeout counters, bakeries, coffee shops and even small retail stores where tipping was never part of the culture. When a cashier hands you a muffin and the screen suggests 25%, it’s hard not to feel like the system is less about gratitude and more about guilt.

Then there’s the long-standing habit of tying tips to the total bill.

The logic is that a bigger check means more work. But that logic falls apart quickly.

Is a $50 steak five times harder to carry than a than a $10 burger?

Yet the percentage system rewards high end establishments and penalizes people who choose modest meals because that’s what their budget allows.

For seniors, a flat amount — a few dollars for decent service, regardless of whether the sandwich was $10 or $15 — seems more reasonable and more honest.

On top of that, there’s a growing sense that some workers expect large tips automatically, regardless of the service provided.

It’s not entirely their fault.

Tipped workers are paid a low base wage and are expected to make up the difference through tips. Employers and payment companies design systems that push customers to fill that gap.

But customers — especially ones who remembers when tipping was a genuine thank you — can see it as entitlement.

When a screen suggests 25% for average service, is the burden being placed on the wrong shoulders?

The tax issue only adds to the frustration. Tips should be calculated on the pre-tax amount. After all, the sales tax goes to the government, not the server.

Yet many payment systems tack suggested tips on the full total, tax included.

That means customers are being asked to tip on money they never intended to spend on service at all.

Meanwhile, the IRS requires workers to report their tips as taxable income. In practice, some cash tips may slip through the cracks, but the law is clear: Tips are taxable.

For seniors being pushed to tip on tax while suspecting — not unreasonably — that not all tips are reported, the whole system feels lopsided. They’re being asked to pay more, on top of more, into a structure that already feels confusing and unfair.

So what should seniors do?

They should set simple rules. Tip for real table service, not for every counter interaction. Tip on the pre-tax amount. Ignore the percentages on the screen and enter a custom number that fits your budget.

And remember that you are not responsible for fixing wage policies that employers and lawmakers created. Your responsibility is to live within your means and treat people fairly — not to meet whatever number a screen flashes at you.

The traveler at the village understood that gratitude is meaningful only when it’s freely given.

Those of us dealing with today’s tipping culture deserve the same freedom.

ED SOCHA | tneditor@tnonline.com

Ed Socha is a retired newspaper editor with more than 45 years’ experience in community journalism.