So, where are you going on your next vacation? Perhaps you might seek the advice of a travel agent to see what package deals are running that you might find interesting. From the other side of the desk, the agent wants to set you up with the trip of a lifetime. You may not be experienced with travel outside of the United States so you trust the agent will do you right.

If problems occurred on your getaway, you could blame the agent so you send complaints back to the originator of your trip. What do people complain about? I found this list compiled by travel agents across the country of what they are saying are the most bizarre complaints they have ever received from their clients.

1. “They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.”

2. “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”

3. “We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”

4. “We booked an excursion to a water park, but no one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.”

5. “The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”

6. “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white, but it was more yellow.”

7. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”

8. “No one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.”

9. “The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guidebook during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.”

10. “Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.”

11. “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.”

12. “I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.”

13. “When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”

14. “We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.”

15. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

16. “I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.”

17. “My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”

After reading these complaints, I decided I’d pretend to make my list that would fit nicely with these absurdities.

“You never said it was going to rain on a Caribbean island. We were in the pool one day and got drenched by a downpour.”

“I went fishing on a trip to upstate New York and I did not catch anything. I believe I deserve a refund of my money.

“You didn’t warn me that I might get seasick on a catamaran trip in the Bahamas. I demand a refund of one day’s cost because I spent a whole day sleeping after I vomited on the boat.”

“The waitress in the island restaurant took her sweet old time taking our order and bringing our food. You should have told us how lazy the natives are.”

“I paid 11 dollars for a rum and coke in Hawaii. You should make a list of bars there that have happy hours like the ones I go to in Pennsylvania.”

“When we drove to Virginia, we were late checking in at the hotel because there was an accident that backed up traffic for miles. You never told us that could happen.”

“We went to an expensive seafood restaurant and there was no hamburger on the menu. You should supply your clients the menus for all the restaurants near our trip.”

“It was so hot at Disney, we left the park to return to the air conditioning of the hotel. Why didn’t you tell us that the heat in July would be unbearable?”

“When we were in Bermuda, we had to drive our rental car on the left side of the road. That was difficult and disturbing. There are many Americans that visit there so you should tell them we prefer driving on the right side.”

‘We went to a concert in Jamaica and the band played nothing but reggae music. They wouldn’t play the Beach Boys, Elvis, or Frank Sinatra. You should tell them that Americans don’t want to hear their island songs.”

Of course, I wouldn’t make any of these complaints. I learned a long time ago that things can go wrong on any vacation. You get sick. The weather is awful. You get stung by a jellyfish. The hotel room was not fully cleaned. Bad things can happen, but with a positive attitude, you can still enjoy your time away.

Email Rich Strack at richiesadie11@gmail.com