As I walked by the fresh flower display at my local grocery store, I stopped in my tracks when I saw the beautiful yellow sunflowers.

I have always loved those happy-looking flowers. I’ve never had much luck making them last for a long time, but while they are here I sure do appreciate them.

The grocery-store bouquets were quite appealing and fresh looking.

I stood there wondering which of my friends had a birthday coming up, thinking the sunflowers would be a nice surprise.

Then I wondered why I didn’t consider buying a bouquet for me.

I often buy flowers to plant but I never buy fresh flowers for myself. If company is coming I occasionally spruce up the guest room with a big bouquet of flowers. But I never do it for myself. I don’t think I have ever bought fresh flowers for myself.

I have no idea why that is.

Is it because my thrifty self refuses to spend the money on me? I could probably buy a big bouquet for 15 or 20 dollars, but it’s not in my frame of reference to do it for me.

When you spend years being thrifty so you can afford to retire it’s hard to break the habit.

Fortunately, one of my friends did bring me a gorgeous bouquet of sunflowers in dirt, all ready to plant. I so love seeing the plant in my garden. Flowers for the garden are one gift I truly appreciate.

But ever since my friend brought me the sunflowers I’ve been wondering why I don’t buy them for myself,

That, in turn, made me thing about other ways I deny myself a little bit of beauty.

A long time ago my husband and I spent our honeymoon at a Pocono resort where the lodge was filled with a wonderful smell of fresh candles. Each couple made their own candles to take home as a souvenir.

I really loved the candles, both for the sentimental value and for the incredible smell that filled room. I looked at them and knew I wanted to make them last. At home whenever I pulled them out I thought about Birchwood and our wonderful Pocono honeymoon.

But I never lighted them. I was saving them, but don’t ask for what.

Unfortunately, I kept them for so many years that they grew dusty and their wonderful smell disappeared.

I put them in a drawer to “protect them.”

I kept them unused for many years.

I finally saw how foolish it was to protect something rather than using it.

It reminded me of my family putting homemade doilies on the furniture to protect it from dirt and grime. When we got a new sofa the old one was still like new.

I thought that was foolish to have kept the sofa covered and made a vow I would never be like that. I would use what I had and enjoy it instead of just trying to protect it.

Sad to say, I didn’t keep that promise.

It almost hurts me to tell you the rest of my story.

When David and I were married I brought my prized Pfaltzgraff dishes to his house, where I stored the beautiful dishes in a small cabinet to keep them safe. I only bought them out when we had special company.

The rest of the time I used cheap, sturdy dishes.

Now here’s what I am wondering.

We loved those colorful dishes. It made us happy to look at them.

So, why didn’t we use them more?

They were heavy pieces and I worried they might chip or break.

But no, they stayed nice and safe in their cabinet. I seldom used the dishes, taking them out only for company. Mostly I forget about them.

When two hurricanes in a row flooded David’s house, ruining just about everything, volunteers helped carry everything to the curb. Floodwater had destroyed so much, including what was stored in bottom cabinets. We were told it all had to be taken to the trash.

I saw some of my prized dishes in the trash as I was ready to leave the house for the last time. When I saw some of pieces that looked like they could be salvaged I gathered up what I could carry and took it with me.

I thought about how foolish I was to protect the pretty dinnerware instead of enjoying it.

Why did I not use what I regarded as “my good” dishes instead of being more concerned with protecting them.

I was only able to find some of the pieces in the trash but I vowed this time I knew better. I wouldn’t store them away to protect them.

I had learned my lesson.

Or, did I?

I still use the cheap dishes from Big Lots every day so I don’t smash any of the remaining good pieces.

I was finally smart enough to use the pretty sugar bowl every day. It makes me feel good whenever I use it.

I now display and use some of my sentimental pieces.

Isn’t it interesting that I never smashed a piece of china. So why did I think I had to “protect” my good dishes all those years rather than use them?

It’s another case of too soon old, we late smart.

Email Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net