We all have our feel-good moments as well as our times of struggle.

As the saying goes, “that’s life.”

Seldom does our life continue without change in some way.

I compare life to the ocean current that is ever-changing. The tide moves in, and the tide moves out.

Sometimes the current is swift, so hard and swift that the waves are punishing as they slam against us.

Other times the water is peaceful and calm, without a ripple. We can float lazily, enjoying the blue skies and no wind.

But no matter what we see before us, we know the current will change.

In much the same way, we all have to continually adjust to the currents of life. That may take patience and skill, and sometimes we can do we alone. Other times we need a little help from our friends.

When I’m in the middle of a long seize of a challenging current, I remind myself to be patient because I know the current of life will change. Just remembering that is sometimes all I need to feel better.

But what if it doesn’t work? Sometimes, as the song says, sometimes I need a little help from my friends.

I occasionally get asked to talk to groups. That’s when I try to shine a little light on the challenges and triumphs of being human. I often do that by focusing on my own experiences, believing that we learn from one another.

No matter what I talk about, my audience can know I will give them gut-level honesty.

I told you before that when I took a class on column writing I asked the national expert this question: How honest should I be in writing a personal column?

I’ll never forget his advice. He said to be authentic a column writer should “just cut a vein and let it bleed.” No dodging. No pretense. Just gut level honesty, he said.

And that’s exactly what I do.

Two months ago when I was asked to give a talk for a church Day of Reflection I knew there would be women attending from other churches as well as our church. I put a lot of thought into a topic, wanting to make it relevant.

I talked about some long simmering regrets in family dynamics. According to feedback, many women related to the talk.

In the reviews, while some said it was my best talk, at least two women wrote they were disappointed because the talk wasn’t my typical “up beat topic.”

They said they prefer happy talk. So do I. But not all of life is upbeat, and I wanted to make it relevant with real life.

While I was still digesting that, I heard from reader Mary McLaughlin, who wrote that my column “shines a light on the challenges and triumphs of being human.”

She gets me and understands what I’m trying to do. Thank you, Mary, for your excellent wording and for your support.

Yes, I like happy and I love when I can write an upbeat column. Probably most of my columns are upbeat.

But not all of life is upbeat, and sometimes a column that does the most good for some readers is not necessarily happy.

In my Emmaus group, after a speaker gives what we call our monthly talk we all give verbal feedback. Often, the “real meat” of the meeting comes out in members’ feedback.

We truly learn from one another.

My friend Jean is an incredible woman who has probably suffered more pain than most of us.

Despite her being the one who has daily difficulties, Jean is also the one who never fails to call to support someone else.

After I had gallbladder surgery, the surgeon said I would be OK to fly the next day.

That sure wasn’t my experience. I won’t go into the problems I had, but I will say it was hard for me to walk across my living room.

It got to the point where I couldn’t leave the house and was feeling sorry for myself.

Then Jean called. She said something told her she needed to call me.

Jean is paralyzed and has limited movement. Yet she doesn’t stay home.

She has learned to ask for help when she needs it, and people are always willing to help.

When she described the personal ways she sometimes needs help she doesn’t say it with pity. She accepts what is and because she does, others do the same thing.

After listening to Jean I felt ashamed for the little pity party I was giving myself.

Jean is the one who probably needs the most physical help, yet she ends up helping many of us with our mental attitude.

I can tell you mental attitude is often the key to self-healing. If we forget that, Jean will be there to teach us.

Some of my friends are also good with talk therapy. It’s not that we talk about our problems; it’s the simple act of being with someone you enjoy that can be a healing balm.

But the trick is finding the right person.

Try it, and you’ll see what I mean.

Email Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net