It’s old, it’s ugly and it has more wrinkles than an old elephant. I think it’s supposed to be a white or off white recliner, but the years have mostly dulled the color.

Before David and I got married, it was what he was using as his TV chair.

I figured because of the years he lived on his sailboat and the years he was alone meant he didn’t pay attention to the furniture in his house.

I thought it was definitely a bachelor’s pad. I figured after we were married we would buy new furniture together.

What I didn’t know was how devoted he was to some of the furniture he had and how reluctant he was to buying anything new.

When we got married the recliner was the only thing in his living room where we watched TV. While the recliner was big, it was only a one person chair. I had to use an uncomfortable kitchen chair if I wanted to watch TV with him.

I was able to convince him we needed something for the two of us.

He bought a nice Navy blue two-person settee that was also a double recliner.

Bye bye ugly elephant. Or, so I thought.

But no, he had other plans for it. He moved it into what was designated as my office/TV viewing area.

That big chair wasn’t comfortable for my small frame. When my friend Jan was selling her small recliner, it was perfect for me.

So, what do you think happened to the big ugly elephant? David had bought it second hand and had it for decades. I thought we could certainly justify giving it away because we no longer had room for it.

I couldn’t believe it when David moved it into the dining room, crowding it into what was supposed to be a cabinet for my best dishes. I could no longer open the cabinet and couldn’t understand why David thought he had to keep the ugly chair.

Fast forward 14 years. All that time the ugly elephant reigned supreme in the dining room. David never once used it and never did I.

What happens with me is that after a while I stop seeing something rooted in one spot.

Then the most unlikely thing happened.

The big ugly elephant rescued me.

Ever since Christmas, I’ve been sick with a hacking cough that sounds like I’m choking to death. I got a hernia and lost my voice for a month from all that coughing and I staggered around like a drunken sailor from all the meds I was taking. But I kept getting worse not better.

I ended up in our Englewood Emergency room where they took all sorts of tests and gave me steroid injections. There was plenty of excellent care, but so far no diagnosis.

The doctor suggested we raise my bed to help me sleep at night.

The big old elephant chair worked even better. For the first time in a month, I could sleep through the night.

Since then, I’ve been sleeping in that big recliner. I told David I’m amazed at how easily I can sleep in that big old chair. Now I’m thankful we never got rid of it.

The big old elephant is now my buddy.

It has taught me some lessons.

It taught me not to be so harsh in my judgment. And it showed me that something that seemed without merit just needed a chance to prove itself.

It showed me something can have great flaws, but still have a lot going for it.

And it’s made me think that lesson applies to people, too.

Sometimes we write someone off, thinking they have nothing to offer. What we fail to realize is that we may be shortsighted in our judgment of someone else. It’s our harsh judgment that’s at fault, not the person.

A divorced woman recently told me she had an epiphany about her ex-husband.

“When I was married to him, all I could see was how rotten he was, how impossible he was to get along with. I was in misery in our marriage and I thought all our fights were his fault,” she said.

It’s taken years of reflection for her to realize she was as much at fault as he was. “I was probably more at fault because I didn’t give him a chance,” she says.

So, what changed her thinking?

Probably the passage of time, the wisdom of age, and what she has observed over the years, she says.

Because they have three children together, they sometimes have to be together for family events. “I can now see him in a different light when I watch how he is with our kids and family. He’s really a decent guy,” she said.

I guess the take away message is that no one is all good or all bad. Yet, we often miss seeing the good when we have our mind made up.

Just as I saw no redeeming qualities in my husband’s chair, we can miss seeing worthwhile qualities in others.

I have seen people write off others because they made faulty snap judgments.

Who knows what they will miss by their preconceived opinions?

I believe people live up to our expectations. Expect the best and you just might be rewarded.

Even an old ugly elephant could surprise you.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.