As a wordsmith for many years, words come easily to me. I seldom have an occasion when I struggle to find the right words.

But then, out of the blue, news that close friends of mine are getting a divorce changed all that.

At first, I insisted it couldn’t be true. I told the woman who told me that she shouldn’t repeat something like that because it was nothing but false gossip.

Actually, she read it on Facebook, she said, and the person who wrote about it on her Facebook account was none other than our close friend who is said to be getting a divorce.

I bet you wonder why I would be shocked and disheartened about any couple that decided they’re divorcing.

But my close friends Ron and Peggy aren’t just any couple. Their love story is extraordinary and I had the privilege of writing about it when they married 12 years ago.

Ron (not his real name) is literally the most beloved official in our community organization. He has done more than anyone else in the entire community to make it a better place to live.

What I find so remarkable about him is that he will come up with an idea and will work to make it happen. But he never takes credit for anything and as soon as a project is launched he turns it over to someone else to run.

He wants no credit for anything. All he wants is to do his part to make this a better place to live.

No wonder he is so beloved.

Ron was also the most eligible bachelor in our community. At 40, he was never married and never thought he would be.

But then Peggy came along and changed all that. We were all so happy for them when they announced they were married in a simple no-frills ceremony.

There must be something about happiness that tempts fate because a week after they married tests revealed Ron had stage four cancer. Almost before she could settle into her role as Ron’s wife Peggy became his caregiver.

Cancer took away his ability to talk and for a while it looked like he wouldn’t make it.

“I lost my will to live and never would have made it if it weren’t for the way Peggy wouldn’t give up on me. I owe her my life,” Ron said.

As I watched them through the past 10 years I saw how devoted they were to each other.

Does that sound like a couple whose marriage will fail?

We don’t know what goes on behind closed doors but I’m finding it hard to understand.

When I saw them at a community event last week I didn’t know what to say. I had no words.

I talked with each of them without mentioning their marriage, letting them take the lead in what they wanted to tell me. They didn’t mention their marriage so neither did I.

Should I have said I’m sorry for their troubles? Should I have said something encouraging?

I failed to have the words I needed.

When a friend loses a spouse I normally don’t agonize over what to say. I just say I’m sorry for their loss and that I understand the pain of losing a spouse.

When my husband Andy died I was quite surprised that some of our friends stopped inviting me to their gatherings. I had no idea why. One wife told her husband she wasn’t inviting me to their Christmas party because she was uncomfortable around me since Andy died. She didn’t know what to say.

A simple “I’m sorry” would have worked. Or, even just saying “We’re glad that you could join us.” If she was uncomfortable mentioning someone who died she didn’t have to. There are plenty of things to talk about.

My friend Chris lost her husband eight months ago and finds people still aren’t quite sure what to say to her.

What she would like them to say is “Let’s get together for lunch, or, better yet, let’s get together some night. My nights are long and lonely,” she says.

I’m sure I won’t be so tongue-tied the next time I see my friends Ron and Peggy.

I want them to know I care about them and will support them in whatever way they want.

At the same time I don’t want to ask personal “what happened” questions about the marriage. I’m letting them take the lead.

One mutual friend has made food for Ron and invited him for Thanksgiving.

Gestures like that say caring without being intrusive.

Maybe I’m an optimist but I don’t think their marriage will necessarily reach the divorce stage.

Even now, I watch how tenderly they are treating each other at social events and I think the next chapter hasn’t been written.

One thing is certain. They are both outstanding individuals who will remain an important part of my friendship circle.

As time goes on I won’t be lost for words and maybe, just maybe, I’ll find the right words.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.