“He’s not heavy. He’s my brother.”

Way back in the 1940s Father Edward Flanagan was inspired to use that slogan to promote his Boys Town children’s charity.

The slogan was accompanied by an iconic photo of a little boy carrying his disabled brother on his back.

The unforgettable photo tugged at many heart strings through the years, including mine.

Father Flanagan said the slogan was the best description of what the boys learn about the importance of caring for each other and having someone care for them.

It resonated in a major way with my own father’s belief in family.

While my dad taught me so much through the years, nothing topped his belief in family doing for each other.

He believed that family should love each other unconditionally and do for each other, no matter what.

He offered his three kids unconditional love and taught us to give each other unconditional love.

No matter what.

That “no matter what” is the important thing about what he imprinted in us. We cared about each other, no matter what.

There was one time when my sister Mary Ann and I got so angry with my brother Richard that we didn’t feel like honoring Dad’s “no matter what” dictate.

We were fed up with my brother Richard and just wanted to write him off, at least for a while. He did the unpardonable sin of not being there for my father.

At 75, Dad was having an extremely hard time. His vision was almost gone, and he could no longer drive to see family and friends.

For his 75th birthday Mary Ann and I wanted to have all three of Dad’s kids there to celebrate with him. Mary Ann and I took care of the decorations, food and special effects.

All Richard had to do was show up. That meant driving for about 2½ hours from his home to Dad’s.

He never showed up and never called to offer an explanation. Mary Ann and I couldn’t bear to see the hurt in my dad’s eyes. He tried hard to cover it up but it was clear he was missing his only son.

We loved my brother but we thought his actions were inexcusable.

“That’s it,’ we said, planning to write off our brother.

Dad talked to us about unconditional love, saying Richard didn’t have to do anything to earn his love. He would always have it.

He would always be there for my brother and wanted Mary Ann and I to know it was important for us to do the same.

Why? Because Richard is our brother.

That’s all that counted. We needed to love and care for him simply because he was our brother.

Like the Boys Town photo, we needed to step up and carry my brother when he needed it.

Dad only went to fifth grade but he was a lot smarter than his college educated daughters. “Your brother does the best he can,” he said.

It took a while for me to realize why Richard didn’t drive to see my dad. He is probably the only person as directionally deficient as I am. Driving in six lane city traffic is beyond him.

Then I remembered when my brother almost got fired for missing an important regional meeting.

He left early in the morning for the three hour meeting to give himself plenty of time to get lost in the big city. Five hours later he was still trying to find the place.

When I remembered that I was ashamed of myself for jumping to conclusions about why he wouldn’t drive to the party.

Now, I’m glad my brother and I never had a nasty word between us. I am so proud to have him as my brother.

I thought about all this after reading more sad stories about the feud in the Royal family.

William and Harry are having a hard time forgiving each other for the hurts that were inflected after Harry and Megan moved away from Harry’s home and heritage.

I never thought King Charles would win my heart but he has by trying to bring his boys back together. The King made clear he believes the only way forward is to forget the past and just be there for each other.

There is probably so much to forgive by all sides. But there is an answer.

The answer is love. Love for each other for this reason - they are family.

Sometimes in a family someone has to be the one who carries the weaker one.

All need to lose their blame finger. Because, really, what will it prove?

Someone has to be the one with an olive branch and all need an open heart.

Twenty-six years ago two little heartbroken boys lost their mother. They couldn’t do anything about that tragedy.

They can write the next part of their history.

Revenge doesn’t taste good and pride is useless in the scope of things.

My dad was right. Sometime the only solution to a problem is offer love. ... to forget hurt feelings and remember the most important thing in life is family.

The Royal family has the same problem I have in mine. It’s too small.

It gets smaller every year.

To remedy that we need bigger hearts. Forgiving hearts.

Because we shouldn’t lose the family we have.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net