When I was young, my immigrant parents stressed time and time again “show respect for your elders.” It was certainly top of mind awareness as I grew up and served customers in our grocery store in Summit Hill.

As a teenager and young adult, I would give my seat to a person I deemed needed one more than I, helped a number of elderly people across the street if they seemed incapable of beating the light, always opened doors for people I presumed to be senior citizens and always volunteered to do chores for some elderly people in my neighborhood who needed help.

By the way, I also always open doors for women, even though I was once reprimanded for doing so. When I was returning from lunch one day, I opened the door for a woman in front of me who was entering The Express-Times building in Easton where I was the editor and general manager. She snapped at me, “I can do that for myself.” Despite her admonition and her calling me sexist, I still open doors for women and tip my cap to them.

Now that I am well into my senior years (84), I have become the beneficiary of some of the acts of respect that I had once accorded my elders. Most younger people defer to me when entering or exiting an establishment. Family members and friends offer to accompany me down the driveway to my car after a visit. (I am secretly conflicted about accepting this offer. On the one hand, I am grateful for the safety that it provides, but, on the other, I realize that it is yet another admission that as I age I might have to rely on others, whereas once it was the type of task that was done without a second thought.)

One of the most interesting debates I have had with people about this topic is whether age alone is sufficient reason to command respect. I argue that it’s not, but a lot of people disagree with me. They believe that longevity alone is reason enough to expect deferential treatment.

I don’t know about you, but one of the major areas where expectation vs. reality comes into play involves our relationship and interaction with our children and grandchildren who receive mixed messages about how to treat us seniors. Let’s start with one of the Ten Commandments. There it is, big as life: “Honor thy father and thy mother.” By implication, this means honoring the elderly, too. There are plenty of biblical verses about the importance of honoring and caring for the elderly. None is clearer than: “Stand up in the presence of the elderly, and show respect for the aged.” (Leviticus 19:32)

At the other end of the spectrum, TV advertising often portrays the elderly as doddering old fools who engage in all sorts of socially inappropriate behavior. There is a line in recent Progressive Insurance commercials that says, “We can’t prevent you from becoming your parents ...” The implication is plain: You don’t want to go down that potholed road and act and behave as your parents do. God forbid. Why not? Lots of parents set great examples for their kids.

As I have gotten older, I pay more attention to what people call me. When an unthinking younger person thought I wasn’t moving fast enough, he barked, “Hurry up, old man.” When I went into a fast food place recently, the 20s-something server greeted me with, “What can I getcha, pops?” I don’t know why but on a recent birthday a much younger friend referred to me as “84 years YOUNG.” I’m not. I’m 84 years OLD.

English poet Alexander Pope (1688-1744) probably nailed this phenomenon when he wrote in a couplet: “We think our fathers fools so wise we grow; our wiser sons will no doubt think us so.”

Just remember, though, respect is a two-way street. If older people act like jerks or are rude to a child or younger person, they shouldn’t complain if they don’t get respect in return.

By BRUCE FRASSINELLI| tneditor@tnonline.com

The foregoing opinions do not necessarily reflect the views of the Editorial Board or Times News LLC.