Another milestone is finally behind us. A is now a licensed driver. Yes, we are a few months past when he should have gotten it, but we still made it in before the year was up and we had to reapply for his permit. We also had to put the cart before the horse and take the test before he was able to complete the professional driving lessons, because when the window opens, you have to go through it, even if maybe you aren’t quite 100% ready.

I’m saying we a lot because I’m the main reason for the delay in getting his license. After chastising him for not having his wallet on the day that we got his permit, I held on to it for “safe keeping.” And, somehow, between there and a few days later when he asked for it, I managed to misplace it. Which delayed being able to register for his lessons online, because I didn’t have his permit number. Which necessitated another trip to the DMV to get a new permit. Because I never thought to take a picture of it or write down his permit number so I could submit the application online. Which turned into another trip to the DMV because I didn’t realize that he needed to sign the application in addition to me. Since I was the only licensed driver, all of that running around fell on me. And, quite frankly, making it to the DMV to sit in line for hours, in the small window of hours they have, was just not the most important thing I had to do.

The snowball continued rolling down the hill, though, when I finally was able to register him for lessons and was told there was a 12-week lead time to get on the schedule, plus a few weeks more to take the lessons, and we were looking at quite a long delay in getting him on the road. Somewhere in the middle of this, the original permit showed up, having gotten stuck in a swim team folder that I had in my bag at the time. Once the season ended, I put the folder away, and didn’t think about it until I pulled it out for our winter season and, voilà, there it was. It was too late to do us any good, but at least I had the satisfaction of knowing that I’d kept it in a safe place.

At any rate, poor A was stuck with me as his sole instructor to get through the test. We slogged through his hours, mainly him going to work every day last summer, and then to school through the school year. We added trips to the grocery store, or to his voice lessons, or sometimes, the two of us just headed out for a drive when it was raining or dark, just to get more hours in. A may not feel the same way, but I have to say, I was kind of impressed with my ability to not freak out when I really wanted to and to stay calm and rational as we rounded a turn too fast, or nearly sideswiped parked vehicles.

Steve and I had talked many times about how their personalities conflicted and he was not looking forward to the arguments that were sure to take place when he tried to teach A to drive. I was the only one out of the three of us that could see that the reason they butted heads so much is that they were so similar, and I also was the one that could counterbalance their stubbornness. Additionally, A and I have a long history of working closely together, with me as the instructor and him as the student, thanks to years of swim training. I know that if Steve were still here, I would have let him take the reigns in teaching A, because he had much more experience than I did, having commuted a long distance for years, and having his CDL, but in the long run, maybe I should have been the one to do it all along.

Trying to set a good example for A, or just trying to remember all the little nuances that go into being a competent driver, made me much more aware of how well, or how poorly, I drive. As A got more and more comfortable behind the wheel, our conversations turned from 1,000 things he should be thinking about while driving to how his day was or what homework assignment he had waiting for him. A lot of conversations that needed to happen between us finally did under the guise of “we have nowhere to go and all day to get there so let’s just talk and also distract me from the fact that my baby is now driving.” (Also, he despises being referred to as my baby.)

A asked me to drive him to the testing site for a number of reasons, among them a long, long weekend of a lot of work and little sleep, and the fact that we were, of course, running a little late, and he didn’t want to be tempted to break the speed limit on his way to pass his driver’s test. He also asked me if he’d be able to drive to school the next day if he passed.

I had no doubt that he would pass, even if he wasn’t over-prepared, A is a stellar test taker and I assumed that this test would be no different, but the truth is, I’m not ready to turn him loose yet. Our hourlong drive gave me a chance to explain to him why I wasn’t just turning over the keys to his Dad’s old car. No one knows better than we do how a split second can change everything. No one knows better than we do how planning and preparation can go out the window in an instant. But, I’ve already delayed this process for him enough and like it or not, I really need him to start sharing the driving.

I purposely did not watch him take the test, as I felt like I might jinx him or add to his nerves, but I could tell from the smile on his face as he strode back across the parking lot that he had passed. The instructor also told me that he was a thoughtful and cautious driver, which was music to my ears. Like it or not, I have to let him go. He has more than earned it, and he is more than ready for it. I also have to have a little more faith in the lessons I taught him and know that he will get professional help in the near future. Besides, G turns 16 in a few months, and I get to do this all over again.

Liz Pinkey is a contributing columnist who appears weekly in the Times News.