We cut the cable cord a few years ago, and although I do feel like I watch a lot of “television,” (probably too much) it has been a while since I watched any kind of network show in real time.

I also tend to shy away from reality shows or competition shows, as I get invested in characters and hate when they disappear halfway through a season.

Since I’m now spending a little more time than I’d like in doctor’s offices and waiting rooms, though, I happened to catch some commercials and advertisements for prime-time viewing.

I was mildly horrified to see that there is now apparently some sort of reality/competition show related to parenting that runs on ABC, called “The Parents Test.” Now, I haven’t even tried to watch it. I find the entire premise too disturbing.

First of all, if history tells us anything, it’s that putting kids in front of cameras at young ages and exposing them to worldwide fame and fortune almost always ends well. (That is sarcasm. Googling child actor and tragedy yields a long list of cautionary tales.)

Secondly, I am reminded of wise words that my dad spoke years ago, while he was watching the boys industriously working over a mud puddle.

“I’m sorry I won’t be around to see how this experiment turns out,” he said.

Even though I’d hoped we’d have him around a good long time, his point was that you can’t know how successful your parenting techniques are or aren’t for years and certainly not within the confines of a made for TV season.

From the ABC website, the show is described as “explor(ing) the many distinctively different parenting styles,” and “putting 12 families under the microscope in the ultimate parenting stress test.”

I’m sorry, is there parenting that isn’t stressful? Did I miss that chapter? From the titles of the few episodes that have aired, it looks like they’ve addressed table manners, “yes days,” and sex.

The show is meant to “foster conversations about how each unit operates.”

Of course, these conversations are moderated by a panel of experts, and the goal is “raising happy, healthy children.”

This may sound like an odd criticism coming from someone who writes about family adventures on a regular basis and shares my own parental successes and failures, but this entire premise just blows my mind.

Isn’t this just feeding the entire one-up-man-ship that is plaguing everything from college admissions to youth sports to that diorama that your kid was supposed to make in kindergarten but everyone knows that you stayed up all night doing?

If there is anything I hope anyone has taken away from my writing over the years it’s that there are no right answers, sometimes you get lucky and things go well, and other times things go horribly wrong. (Hopefully for all of you, not as horribly wrong as they’ve gone in our house, but still, things can go south in many ways.) Parenting is freaking hard, really freaking hard. For a long time, my mantra was “find something to laugh about in all the absurdity.” That changed drastically and now my mantra is more “do whatever it takes to survive.”

I can’t help but wonder what kind of long-term impact this experience will have on these families. Will die-hard helicopter parents see the error of their ways and learn to hover at a distance? Will BFF-style parents realize that someone’s got to be the adult in this relationship?

I suppose I should watch it before I get too judgmental, but I fail to see how this is going to end well for these kids. Sure, maybe their parents will change radically, and maybe even for the better, but to do that in such a public manner?

How far are these parents going to go to stay committed to their supposed parental style? On any given day, I fluctuate rapidly between the type of parent I want to be, the type of parent my kids seem to need me to be, and the parent that I have the capacity to be.

None of them are ideal, and none of them are people I’d happily portray in a public forum on the regular.

The entire premise of a “test” is that it’s something you can pass or fail. I’m trying to imagine myself taking that test every day. In fact, it is something I more or less quiz myself on every night. “How did I do today? What could I have done better? What went well? What is working? What isn’t?”

Steve and I would regularly have these conversations as a team. We didn’t necessarily have the answers all of the time, but two heads were better than one.

We also held each other accountable when one of us needed to adjust our techniques. We didn’t need input from 11 other families, or a panel of experts, because they just couldn’t know all the ins and outs of our family.

I hope that in 15 or 20 years these families can look back and say that this was a life changing experience for them, and mean it in a positive way. It would be great if they had a reunion show where all the kids showed up and said “I’m happy and healthy and all grown up!” But then again, who decides what is happy and healthy? Are they going to have another test to decide who is the happiest and healthiest? When does it end?

I don’t think I’m going to end up watching this show, even out of morbid curiosity. I’m sure I’d recognize my own traits, as well as those of my friends. Then I’d start to question my own parenting abilities against some made for TV benchmark that isn’t even real. I can see it spiraling out of control quickly. If I want family drama, I’ll either stick to my own, or binge some Yellowstone.

Liz Pinkey is a contributing columnist who appears weekly in the Times News.

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