Words, words, words.

We hear so many words every single day.

Some words wash off us without making an impact. Some words cause us to pause and ponder what was said. But then they, too, get lost in the barrage of words we hear each day.

Then there are the words that stay with us forever. We may forget them for a while but when we need them those words come back to the forefront of our mind.

I call them words of wisdom.

They can influence our actions long after we first heard them.

As I sit here thinking of some of the words of wisdom that have helped me it becomes clear that it doesn’t take lofty words to make a major impact.

Here are some crazy-sounding words that have helped me:

Lefty loosey; righty tighty.

Way back in the early ’90s my husband Andy thought even though he was paralyzed on the right side he could still do household repairs - provided I became his right hand. I wasn’t a very good helper.

When he told me to turn the wrench, I turned it the wrong way, ruining the garbage disposal he was trying to fix. I never knew what way to turn something.

When I was interviewing a remarkable paraplegic mechanic I told him I was in awe of him because I don’t even know which way to turn something off or on. He told me to remember “righty tighty” and I’ll never again turn something the wrong way. He was right.

He told me to remember these words: righty tighty, lefty loosey.

Ah, with those simple words I never again turned something the wrong way.

My Aunt Mary taught me the words you don’t say are also important. When I was just a child my Aunt Mary cautioned me never to criticize someone who tries to help, especially if the helper is your husband.

She firmly believed husbands need praise, not criticism.

She said she often hears women saying their husbands never help around the house. Yet when they do help they are often told they aren’t doing it right.

My husband David and I have a nice division of labor. I cook, he does the dishes and cleans the kitchen. Perfect.

Keeping my Aunt Mary’s advice in mind, if a pot feels greasy, I don’t point it out. I quietly redo it because for the most part, David does an admirable job with the kitchen. That deserves praise, not criticism.

My Aunt Mary only went up to eighth grade but she sure knew how to use psychology to get what she wanted.

She was a suburb cook and so was her husband. Uncle Johnny was a chef at West Point but seldom cooked at home.

When he did cook, my Aunt Mary told us kids to rave about his meals, telling him we liked his cooking way better than my Aunt Mary’s.

Uncle Johnny beamed when we said it and made it a point to cook for us more often, just like my Aunt Mary wanted.

I never forgot that lesson.

Often, the words I need to hear come from friends.

My friend Andy posted a message about the overwhelming task of recovering from the hurricane that wiped us out.

“Sometimes we look at all the things we need to fix and it feels like we’ll never get there. Don’t discount baby steps.” he said.

“As long as something happens in the right direction every day, we’ll get through this.”

Under a picture of a gopher tortoise he sent this message: SLOW PROGRESS IS STILL PROGRESS.

In a week where the roofer said he wouldn’t be there for a few weeks and I was lamenting the lack of progress in rebuilding, I had to keep the tortoise in mind.

Slow progress is still progress.

There’s a lot of junk that comes over the Internet. Occasionally there are encouraging words for those so overwhelmed they can barely function.

The Understanding Compassion site had this encouragement:

“Can’t clean up the whole room?

Clean a corner of it.

Can’t do all the dishes?

Do one dish.

Always look for the thing you can do with the energy and focus you do have.

Little wins pave the way for bigger wins. Remember, one percent beats zero percent.”

That reminds me of the adage about eating an elephant.

How do you eat an elephant?

One bite at a time.

When my daughters and I get stuck and feel like we’re mired in mud, we remind each other about eating an elephant one bite at a time.

Sometimes the words of wisdom that bring me comfort are from the Bible, especially Jeremiah 29, 11-13:

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.

Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

When the present seems overwhelming and the future is so uncertain, those words have a personal meaning and give me comfort.

I’m an avid reader and every once in a while I find a passage in a book that resonates with me. This is my thought of the week found in a book I just finished:

“I know it’s sometimes hard to believe the best. But isn’t it better than believing the worst?”

Instead of worrying that my house will never get rebuilt, I’m refusing to believe the worst.

Believing the best, I’m thinking about the pleasure I’ll have when I can again welcome people into my home.

Sometimes the right words are just what we need.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.