Lately, it seems if I throw a stone in any direction it will connect with someone who is dreading Christmas.

Helen’s husband passed away a few weeks ago. She says she sits alone in their house, wondering how she will endure what is supposed to be this season of gladness.

Bonnie just buried her twin sister and says she is dreading this first Christmas without the sister who was always as close as her own heartbeat. She doesn’t have the heart to do anything without her twin.

I read a statistic that says more people die during the Christmas season than any other time of year.

While the death of a loved one is always difficult, it becomes far more painful during the Christmas season.

Maybe that’s because it’s the time of year when everyone else is more festive and hearts are lighter.

Or, maybe it’s the memories of happier Christmas celebrations with the one no longer here.

One thing is certain. Your emotions normally run higher during this time of year. Struggling with a loss makes it harder to feel the “merry” in Christmas.

I live in a wonderful area where people are always looking for a reason to celebrate.

For my party-loving neighbors, Christmas is normally a time for even more celebrations.

Not this year.

Many homes that normally were alight in blazing Christmas lights are dark.

My next door neighbors usually go all out. Every tree, every bush, very surface is covered in lights. It all forms a backdrop for the everyone-is-welcome open house they stage each Christmas.

This year, my home and their home is dark, victims of the hurricane that tore our homes apart.

Now, the most common decoration on the street are those blue roof tarps that cover the damage brought by the hurricane.

So many people were left homeless that it’s difficult for everyone to find a place to live during the rebuilding.

My next door neighbor had to move his family of four into a cramped travel trailer set up in what was once their front yard.

Here’s a simple truth.

We don’t give up.

We don’t give in.

When we get discouraged we encourage each other, reminding each other to keep our eye on the prize. One prize someday will be our rebuilt homes.

Even if Christmas has a tinge of sadness we won’t let it overtake us.

We keep in mind Christmas isn’t only about us and our emotions. It’s about a baby in a manger whose birth changed the world.

Every year as Christmas approaches I try to think of what gift I will give to Baby Jesus. I started doing that years ago when I first heard the Little Drummer Boy song. I, too, wanted to give Baby Jesus a gift.

It’s always non-material gifts, of course.

This year I’m giving Him the gift of trust - trust in Him and trust in his love. I will try to mirror His love for me in all the small ways I interact with others.

One thing I’ve found over the years is that the more I try to show love to others, the more I glow from the love I feel.

While I thought this Christmas would be sad I’m finding once again a lightness of heart and an undeterred spirit. Joy seeps through the day, regardless of what problems I’m having.

I believe unconditional joy is God’s gift to me. And to all of us, if we reach out for it.

Sometimes that isn’t easy.

As the Christmas season was approaching I knew I needed to concentrate on the things I do have, not on what I don’t have. That works for me.

My biggest Christmas disappointment is that I will not be able to be in Maine for my family’s big Christmas celebration.

With my husband having one medical procedure after the other and struggling physically, travel is not in the books for us.

I console myself by remembering how blessed I am to have such a close, caring family. They make sure they call me every day.

On Christmas they arrange a family zoom get-together.

They do that to help me feel like I’m part of the family celebration. It’s difficult to get through the video without tears, both happy tears and tears of regret.

After that call I will pick up my holiday spirits by playing my favorite Mannheim Steamrollers “Christmas in the Air” album.

That album got lost in the rubble of the hurricane but thanks to the marvels of technology I can still listen it.

I discovered I can find it on Infinity’s On Demand TV. I had happy tears when it actually worked.

I call it one of the tiny miracles.

I believe we are given so many tiny miracles each day of life, starting with the gift of life itself.

When I get up every single day and have the gift of a new day, I know the best way I can get the most out of the day is to look for all the tiny miracles that will come to me if I stay aware enough.

The joy that penetrates this difficult Christmas season is another one of those tiny miracles.

May the peace of Christmas - a not so tiny miracle - be one of your gifts regardless of your circumstances.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.