Last Friday night when quarterback Cade Christopher left the game with an injury, Northwestern coach Josh Snyder’s heart had to skip a beat.

It was his “Nightmare on Route 309” moment.

(Christopher’s OK and will play tonight.)

But that got me thinking. What would Snyder do if his QB was out for the season?

It just so happens Josh, or any other area coach in that predicament, I have a solution for you.

I know a crafty quarterback with three years of eligibility who can also tutor your players in English - Me.

I only played football my freshman year in high school, so with today’s crazy eligibility rules -­ and factor in a COVID year - I figure I can be of service. And even better, quarterback was my position.

So Josh, or any other coach, if you’re looking for a 63-year-old signal caller who hasn’t lost a step - I was slow to begin with - and has only 5% percent of the arm strength I had in 1973, give me a shout.

You probably got my number on the wall, but if you don’t, just call Tommy at 8675 ... 309.

No. 9 - Panther Valley

Winnable game for the Panthers that could move them up.

No. 8 - Marian

Only one thing is certain: The Colts (3-3) will no longer be a .500 winning percentage team. ... At least for one week. I got an A++ in 8th grade math.

No. 7 - Lehighton

Get to this one early, not because it’s a sellout but there’s a really cool ice cream shop called Dinky’s at the corner of Broadway and First Street in Bangor.

No. 6 - Tamaqua

When you’re hurting or feeling dejected, what makes you feel better? A double scoop of peanut butter marble from Heisler’s? Tonight, the Blue Raiders not only get a whopping amount of I-scream but it will be in a waffle cone with sprinkles - Pine Grove is the Homecoming opponent. Smart scheduling by athletic director Michael Hromyak - always good to win with the alums in attendance.

No. 5 - Jim Thorpe

Uh oh. The euphoria of whipping Tamaqua last week will dissipate for the Olympians somewhere along Route 54 - I’m guessing Hometown - on their way to North Schuylkill High School.

No. 4 - Pleasant Valley

If you see Times News sports reporter Rod Heckman tonight at the game - he’ll be the clipboard toting dude on the sidelines sporting a huge smile - congratulate him, and not because he’s returning to his high school alma mater, Northampton. The first-time grandfather just left his daughter’s house after spending time with his month-old grandchild to cover the game.

No. 3 - Palmerton

Which one will take less time? The competitiveness of tonight’s Palmerton-Salisbury game or Aaron Judge’s record-setting home run leaving the field of play on Tuesday night?

No. 2 - Northwestern

Josh, you haven’t called yet.

No. 1 - Northern Lehigh

An anonymous source tells me the kids worked extra hard this week and are super excited to play tonight: The pep band that is. Let’s hope that energy transfers to the football team.