When I was taught the rules of the road many years ago, I was led to believe that while driving on a three-lane turnpike, the right and middle lanes were for most cars and trucks and the left lane was for passing.

Everyone reading this column will say that’s not how it is anymore and you’d be right. First, there’s Harry Hurry Up driving in the left lane like it’s a speed run for the Pocono Raceway. He’s the guy going 85 or 90 and even will hit 100 mph. Harry is more important than us, you see. He has to get somewhere a half-hour ago. Harry will ride your bumper and try to scare you to get out of his way.

Then there’s Nicky Not Moving. He’s the car in front of Harry Hurry Up. He’ll slow down and get his jollies by making Harry Hurry Up spit anger from his lips. Now Harry will tire of kissing Nicky’s bumper, so he’ll make his move to pass him on the right. Seeing this bold move, Nicky will speed up to block Harry behind a slow-moving truck in the right lane. This cat and mouse game can go on for miles.

You’ll often see Olivia Oblivious in the left lane, too. She’s the lady doing 50 in 70 mph speed limit zone. Her eyes are fixed on the road ahead and nothing else. Whether she’s caught up in the middle of a radio talk show or she’s just in a mind trance, the road is hers and hers alone and she’s just going to keep puttering down the left lane as if the she’s the only one left living in the universe.

You also have Toni Texter. I have actually seen her crunched forward, texting with both hands and controlling the steering wheel with the insides of her knees.

Let’s not forget Willy the Weaver. He’s not a left laner or a right laner. Willy weaves between all the lanes, darting in front of cars while announcing his ins and outs with his “polite” turn signals.

How about Wally the Truck Wall? He will pull his big tractor-trailer rig into the left lane alongside another big truck in the middle lane and the two 18 wheelers will form a truck wall at 60 mph backing up a line of cars that can’t get past them.

I wonder about the makeup of these drivers outside of their vehicles. Harry Hurry Up is probably late for everything. Then again, I once lost sight of Harry doing 90 or better until I pulled into a Dunkin’ Donuts and found his car in the parking lot. What somebody will do for a cup of coffee.

Nicky Not Moving is a chronic irritator. He’s the guy in the grocery store with his cart blocking the entire aisle while he whistles and scans the spice rack. You can get him to move his cart after you say excuse me twice and he pushes it a foot to the side so you have to squeeze your cart through him and the soda bottles stacked on the shelf to your right.

Olivia Oblivious wears horse blinders. She will hold up 12 people in a checkout line that she doesn’t even know are there while she has the cashier recheck every item she’s purchasing to make sure the amount she has to pay is correct.

Toni Texter is just stupidly careless and disregards the possibility of causing grave consequences. Caught up in her fantasy world of love this one, hate that one, her sole focus is on her “what about me?” life.

Willie the Weaver, like Toni, dismisses the safety of others to go where he must go to get what he wants. Quite possibly a narcissist, he has the “here I come so get out of my way” attitude.

Wally the Truck Wall is that guy you can’t mess with about anything. On the road, he’s bigger than you. Off the road, he’s still bigger than you. Take him on and you will lose. Period.

Now for me. I must admit that at times, I’ve played the role of Nicky Not Moving when I’m driving in the left lane and I’m not proud to admit that because then I’m as much a danger on the road as they are.

If I’d have to give myself a roadway name, it might be “Rich Lost Again.” I have a bad sense of direction made worse when I’m engaged in conversation with someone in the car or my mind dances off into a memory ignited by a certain song on the radio. I’ve been known to drive past my own house or get on the Turnpike South instead of North. I always get to where I’m going, and thanks to GPS, I don’t have to pay much attention anymore to anywhere I’m heading.

When it comes to how good we think we drive, author Dave Barry speaks for most of us. “The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”

Does driving have anything to do with how we live our lives? Former United States Secretary of State Colin Powell thinks so. He says, “Always focus on the front windshield and not the review mirror.” My way of saying the same thing is, “Pay attention to what’s in front of you. Stop living in the past. Embrace the moment you have right now.”

Happy driving, all!

Rich Strack can be reached at richiesadie11@gmail.com.