Birds of a feather flock together, or so we’re told.

If that’s true, does that mean we humans tend to like being with people just like us?

Or, is it true when they say opposites attract?

Maybe your answer will be like mine. It’s a little bit of both.

I think it’s obvious that many seem to seek being with people that think like them and act like them. Even vote like them.

Lately, I’ve heard a quite a few people admit they are far more comfortable being with those that appear to be like them.

Oh my, since when have we gotten to the point where everyone needs to be the same and think the same, especially about politics?

Hey, I’m so old that I remember a time when no one asked me my political party. Even in a presidential election no one asked me for whom I voted.

In our lively newsroom we all came from different backgrounds but only one woman expressed staunch political viewpoints. I looked up to her because she was a great mentor for me. But she could never convert my viewpoints.

Once, when she drove us to a news conference five hours away, she spent much of that time telling me why I was wrong to say I didn’t vote party. I voted for the best candidate.

Thankfully, our newsroom was always a great place for exchanging ideas but we had a high tolerance for diverse opinions. In fact, I think we all cherished our differences.

That’s not often the case today.

One woman went so far as to say she met an interesting guy on a dating site but refuses to get together with him. Why? She learned he didn’t share her political beliefs.

This “we all need to think the same” sometimes carries over to religion.

On Moody radio the other day I heard a well known pastor claim it’s at the point today where even those who share the same faith and same church have friction about major differences of opinion.

No problem there. The problem comes, I believe, when we expect others to share the same beliefs.

When my cousin Louise married Briant, they had major religious differences. They vowed to stay in their own churches and never expect the other one to change.

All during their 52-year-old marriage, they were not birds of a feather that flocked together for any and all occasions.

Yet Louise will tell you they were alike in all the important ways.

I read a magazine headline the other day that proclaimed in big headlines “Opposites Attract.”

The story was mostly about couples that were drawn to each other because of their differences.

Do you think that’s the case with most couples?

Was it true with you?

Or, did you pick a partner that was basically like you?

When I first met my husband Andy I knew a lot about him because we grew up in same small town. After we graduated from college, from the time we first saw each other on top of a burning roof when we were both working as journalists we both knew we would be life partners. Yet, no personal words were spoken as we covered the fire.

Hard to believe, I know.

That night Andy and several of my friends came to my house to watch Andy’s fire coverage on WDAU television. After they left I asked my mother what she thought of Andy.

I told her I was going to marry him. A year later, that’s exactly what happened. We both found the person we were waiting for.

On occasion, someone said Andy and I were opposites. Not true.

It just seemed that way to some because I was always an outgoing extrovert and Andy was a quiet introvert.

While I was much more action oriented and he was much more cerebral, we were alike in all the important ways. We definitely were birds of a feather, happy together.

We had 41½ great years together before he passed away.

Six years later, when I met David what attracted me was something I would never have looked for before I retired - We both enjoyed the same active lifestyle. We are both kayak enthusiasts, bikers, and dancers. Best of all, we both thrive on outdoor activities.

What I learned is that sharing the same interests is so important as we age, especially in retirement. Well, at least that’s true for me.

According to sociologists, it’s true for many couples that find their compatibility in retirement wanes if they don’t have things they enjoy together.

When we’re busy working and raising a family, that’s not as important. It’s only when we have the benefit of leisure time in retirement that a couple’s differences become apparent.

My friend Jane says that’s far from true. She and her partner do little together except their weekly restaurant dinner with friends.

And that’s just the way she likes it.

“He has his golf. I have my time with my girlfriends. We are both happy this way,” she says.

Jane is right that it’s mutual respect and the way they treat each other that’s the most important thing in a relationship.

Being opposites or being birds of a feather isn’t nearly as important as a loving relationship.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.