Self-made are two words that describe him well.

Dave was my car mechanic in New Jersey, but as my vehicles need scheduled attention, we became friends more by necessity than by a designed plan. After some years of my absence from him, we have reconnected and never missed a beat with sharing our life stories with each other like we did before.

Early in his life, Dave’s father defined the relationship he was going to have with his son. Do wrong and face the consequences.

“My dad was a big man who believed that raising your voice or using bad language never made up for content,” Dave said. “When he spoke, he could knock you out with his choice of words.”

One time, without permission and too young to have a driver’s license, Dave took his brother Harry’s car out for a ride. When he returned home, he mistakenly put his brother’s car keys in his sister’s coat pocket. She then went to school and Harry was left looking for his keys. He figured out what happened and he told their father.

“My dad calmly told me I’d have to wait an extra year to get my license,” Dave said. “I got my brother back, though. I drained the oil from his car and ran it until the engine seized.”

Don’t think for a moment that Dave is a bad guy, and neither was his father. When Dave was 22, he wanted to open up his own auto repair shop, but he couldn’t get a loan at such a young age, so his father co-signed for him.

“I borrowed $10,000 and paid it off in two years. My dad was 100% behind me the whole way.”

A mechanic, an Army officer from Vietnam, and the father of two, Dave’s trust in God has helped him get through his share of trying circumstances. When his son David was about to be born, the doctor told him the baby would not survive the delivery due to a myriad of complications.

“I didn’t say anything to the doctor. I just knew God was going to save our son, and he did.”

Through the years, Dave has fixed a lot of cars, and he’s fixed nearly as many problems for people, too. Using the words, “The best defense is a strong offense,” said to him by his father, Dave has been the Mr. Clean of the dirty messes made by his friends and family. If his brother had bad guys chasing him or if his friend of 50 years slipped into depression for doing something that he thought he did was wrong, Dave was “The go-to guy,” to take care of the problem.

Personal experiences have given him a unique view about love. “If you remove the mercury from a thermometer and hold it in your hand, it will stay there forever,” he said. “But if you squeeze it too hard, it will slip right through your fingers.”

His heart was broken once, and once was enough. A girlfriend who was from Greece “dumped me,” and years later she showed up again. “I knew what I was going to say to her before she spoke a word.

“She invited me to her house for dinner. “Once I make a decision my decision is made,” he said. “I told her no.”

His sons, Brad and David, have been his life’s greatest joy. “Kids can create havoc and angst. They can make you feel inadequate and unhappy, but all that goes away when they give their dad a hug.”

Although he has kept much of his past behind him, or as he puts it, “It’s just too much to carry,” his senses bring back to his mind everything about his sons.

“I can smell and hear my children with my eyes when I remember.” He talked about taking Brad to his soccer game when he was 12 and as Dave was walking away, his son called out to him.

“He asked me for a kiss goodbye,” Dave said. “I said I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of his friends. My son looked at me and said, ‘but you’re my dad.’?”

A man with a college degree in accounting has a calculating insight into people’s behaviors that’s clear and to the point. “You can’t walk in anyone else’s shoes. You can try them on, but you don’t know what’s in their heart. When I played baseball, I didn’t care if I was the first one picked; I just didn’t want be the last. Nobody knew what I was feeling that day.”

The horrors of war are yesterday’s news about this man who now enjoys a simple breakfast while reading his New York Post. Yet if you said you’d give Dave a nickel for his thoughts, he’d tell you about the time 5 cents was a big deal when he tried to take a milelong bus ride home from the Army.

“I only had 25 cents in my pocket. The driver said it was a 30-cent fare and no one on the crowded bus offered me a nickel.”

The driver told Dave that if he could run over the bridge before the bus got there, the fare would be reduced to a quarter.

“There was a lot of traffic. I ran and beat the bus, but I was really angry,” he said. “I swore at the bus driver and threw the quarter at him.”

For the price of 25 cents, a young Army veteran learned one of four lessons he carries with him for the rest of his life. Trust in God. Never make the same mistake twice and do whatever it takes to get what you want.

“And listen to what someone is telling you and try to understand their feelings behind the words.”

Dave listens to me each time we talk and I have always taken his advice to heart. He is a man for all reasons, but most importantly, I’m privileged to call him my friend.

Rich Strack can be reached at richiesadie11@gmail.com.